fandomhigh | Entries tagged with law and order

"Alibis," Lucifer announced, writing the word on the blackboard with a swirl. "Every criminal has one. As do most innocent people, as well. But how do you pierce an iron-clad alibi? How do you find the right... questions?"

He paused.

"Two of you are criminals," he said. "You've stolen an important piece of jewelry from the local bank. You will retreat from this classroom to talk for five minutes. Your alibi must involve three places you've visited and two activities you've been involved in. You will return to this class one at a time, for ten minutes each."

He pointed at two students, then pointed helpfully at the door. "Out," he said, and waited for them to leave. "As for the rest of you, your job is to catch them in a lie. You've got ten minutes to question either of them. I expect results."

He hit the blackboard with his charcoal once, for emphasis, then beamed. "This will be fun."

my_own_advocate

There was no teacher in class today.

There was, however, a santa hat sitting neatly on top of the desk.

I'm sorry, but an opportunity arose I could not turn down.

Do try to detect all the santa hats in the room before you go.

-- Your brilliant teacher, Lucifer Morningstar.

... okay!

my_own_advocate

"It's Christmas, and there's chocolate," Lucifer sighed. He was slouched over in the chair behind his desk. "Why in Father's name are you lot even here?"

He wondered that frequently, truth be told, but whatever.

"Right, police work," he said. "Is a thing. That we're studying here in this class. And sometimes? Police work is very boring. Very, excruciatingly dull, in fact."

He sat up. "Which is why there are multiple boxes on one side of this room," he said, "And sheets of paper and objects on the other side of the room. I want you all to go through the sheets of papers and the objects, try not to go mad from the boredom of it all, and sort them all into the correct box."

He was having a bad day. Repression was not something you could always manage consistently.

"And then at the end of it all, you can tell me whether or not this work makes you want to do crimes. Chop chop."

my_own_advocate

Was there a Lucifer sitting on the desk, cross-legged?

"Have you done crimes yet?" he said. "Or foiled them? If you haven't done either of those things, why not and why don't you like having fun?"

That was going to be it, apparently.

my_own_advocate

"I was going to talk to you today, but you were all even smaller and more annoying this weekend, and I was a bit worried it would carry over," said Lucifer.

Sitting at the front of the class with his phone out, scrolling through Instagram.

"But whatever. I owed you an actual interrogation with the man from that restaurant who saw the crime with the rickshaw." He waved a hand. "Go bother the Douche. Er, I mean, witness."

... yes, the classroom was in fact, in the Danger Shop. And yes, that was in fact Detective Dan Espinoza with a mustache as the witness. Well. Not the actual detective. But it was a version of him with a funny mustache. Lucifer made his own fun, you don't own him.

my_own_advocate

"So I ran my first two ideas for this class past that delightful pixie of a forensics expert you all met yesterday, and she said something about 'keeping this class age-appropriate'," Lucifer said, sighing. "Have I told you all before how much I loathe dealing with children?"

This was sure to endear him to the class.

"That leaves me without a lesson plan, so to speak," he said. "So! How about we practice some object learning! Half of you hatch a scheme to commit a crime sometime in the next week, and the other half of you... attempt to catch them."

There was a long pause.

"Oh right, there's a hat with paper in it, pull one out if your undeveloped brain can't come up with a crime to plot." Beat. "Oh, Ella also told me to insist none of you do anything that hurts anybody else. She's such a softie, isn't she?"

my_own_advocate

"I had an adorable forensics expert on the phone this morning who scowled at me," Lucifer said, with a put-upon sigh. "Apparently I'm supposed to at least teach you lot how to 'Mirandize' people, which is to say, telling anyone you arrest what their rights are."

A long pause.

"No, I don't need a lecture on why it's important, out of fairness and basic respect for human dignity, I've heard it, I'm aware of it. It's just that memorizing some lines is dreadfully boring, which is why..."

He wandered off.

Came back three minutes later, toting an old television on wheels, and left it standing in front of the class. He hit a button. And, why, if it wasn't the bippy forensics expert he'd been talking about.

"Okay," Ella said, leaning forward conspiratorally in what was obviously a recording. "I know some of you are going to think this is boring, but it's super important, okay? You can't arrest anybody without reading them their rights. And frankly, that's a good thing, because you can't trust the Man, you know--"

"Ella, what are you doing?" a female voice called from off-screen. Did Lucifer wince? Nah. Trick of the light.

"...Now the specific language is different from state to state, but this is the basics. Write it down. Practice it in the mirror. Whatever you need to do, you just do."

She sat up, and cleared her throat.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time."

She paused, looking solemn.

And then burst out into a grin. "Ohmygod Lucifer I've always wanted to do that--"

The recording stopped abruptly.

"There you go," Lucifer said dryly. "Did you get that? If not, you can use the internet on those fancy phones of yours to find it, I'm sure."

my_own_advocate

Today, the class would meet Lucifer...

... at the gym.

Was Lucifer wearing gym teacher apparel? Damn right he was. In fact, he looked entirely too enthusiastic about the Stars and Stripes-patterned shorts he was wearing. "Before we get back to the cerebral," he said, "Sometimes policework is all about chasing down your suspect and apprehending them. That means running." Beat. "And we can't all be in as perfect a physical shape as I am. So today, you will be running quite a bit. Up and down. Until you can't."

He pointed aside helpfully. "Anyone who runs out of breath can go on the trampoline."

He blew the whistle.

Why did he blow the whistle? Because he could, frankly. He had a whistle!

my_own_advocate

"Have you come back from vacation yet? Because I haven't," said Lucifer.

You could tell. He was taking advantage of the Danger Shop in order to render his very own beach, and he was, in fact, laying draped in a hammock at the front of the class on said beach, sunglasses on. A parasol stood beside him, and he was holding a book he had no intention of reading.

"Now I heard there was something about Russian cybercriminals pretending to be Iranian cybercriminals and being all... cyber... criminally," he said, waving lazily. "Go do research, come back, and tell me what on Earth happened, will you? Or some other... cyber... criminal... thing. Make me a nice Insta, if you can. Lucifer needs his after-vacation nap."

He tipped his sunhat over his eyes and settled into his hammock.

Well. Have... fun with those computer terminals sitting on small bamboo tables on the beach.

my_own_advocate

"Good morning, students-- including ones I don't recognize..."

Anyone who'd been hoping to see their teacher with curves would have to go home disappointed. Lucifer was an angel; he looked however he felt at any point in time, and right now, he felt like a ~~mopey, still-depressed~~ Lucifer.

"Before we head on to interrogate some suspects and witnesses from the rickshaw case, I'd like you all to get some practice on interrogation technique," he said. He clapped his hands. "Half of you are criminals. You may take your crimes from the crime jar."

He gestured, helpfully, to the crime jar.

"The other half of you must interrogate the other person and attempt to determine what crime has been committed based only on the evidence mentioned on the back of the crime note."

He clapped his hands. "Go on. Torture each other into giving up the goods."

texted3times

Well, it wasn't Lucifer in the front of class today, it was an extremely tall, imposing blond man bleeding ever so slightly from his ears.

"I am Eric," he told them. "Lucy is detained today and asked me to fill in for him. I'm fairly certain he was being sarcastic, but I do so love spending time near teacup humans--"

He did not. "--plus I am a sheriff, so I have plenty of experience with law enforcement."

Kind of. If you squinted.

He sighed heavily, a clear affectation because he didn't breathe. "I have been told that killing a DJ who plays nothing but disco music--and not even the popular disco music, but really obscure shi--stuff--is 'illegal' and 'wrong' and a 'waste of life.'"

That was a lot of sarcastic air quotes, Eric. "I'm not that convinced. I think it saves my ears from horror and provides an excellent incentive to other DJs to play better music."

He waved in a disinterested way at the students. "So. Pair up, come up with a different punishment for the tone-deaf, horrifying DJ that isn't killing them or come up with a way for me to kill him and not get caught. Your choice. You have oh...a half hour. Go."

my_own_advocate

"Ah, you're still here."

Don't sound so disappointed, Lucifer.

The Danger Shop was done up to resemble a police station once again, but this time, there were no ~~NPCs~~ others, just the class and their teacher, sitting on a desk, eating an apple.

"Last week, you saw a crime scene. On one hand, a dead man - murdered, yes." Not looking at anyone in particular. "On the other, a rickshaw, its poor front window ruined, with no trace of a driver, both in front of Fast Eddie's."

He pointed at a random student. "You! Who would you speak to next?"

That was apparently going to Be It.

my_own_advocate

"Hello, children!"

How did Lucifer manage to pair that bright grin with a look that read please stay at the agreed-upon distance? "Welcome to our crime scene."

... They were in the Danger Shop, yes, made up to look like the intersection in front of Lucifer's new house. There was a body on the ground, on the steps of the Post Office, and the wreckage of a rickshaw just a few feet away, in front of Fast Eddie's.

"Today is the first of our classes on observation. Observe the crime scene."

A long pause.

"... Well, go on, observe the crime scene. Do I have to do everything around here?"

You could, presumably, at least try to give them some kind of sense what they should be looking for, Lucifer.

He did not.

my_own_advocate

Was Lucifer standing at a reasonable distance from the teenagers in his class? Yes, he was. Were they standing in the Danger Shop, set to a particular Los Angeles police office Lucifer would not mention the name of? Yes.

Around them, there were people. Frozen in time.

"Cops," Lucifer began. "Pigs. The fuzz. The bill, if you wish, the heat, the man. If you are going to be involved in law enforcement, you'll have to deal with them. I know, I know, I doubt some of you are eager to do so, considering, but it helps to know the types."

Types, yes.

"Generally, we find cops in four different guises," he said, sitting down on the desk behind him. He gestured towards the stern-but-dopey-looking Hispanic man behind him. "First, there's the Dan," he said gleefully. "Grumpy, earnest, boring, occasionally prone to a bit of corruption on the side."

He slid away from 'Dan', and wandered towards a young woman with a winning smile. "Then there's the Ella. The Ella is delightful. She jokes, she gossips, she brightens up the day, she's a unicorn," he said.

He turned away from 'Ella' and gestured towards... a really generic-looking brunette. "Now, your... ... ... Zoe, is a by-the-books type that needs to be coaxed into letting her hair down, but who has a fundamentally good heart to the point of madness."

"... and then finally, you've got your generic officer," Lucifer said, clearing his throat. He nodded towards a tall woman with set shoulders and an eager look in her eye. "She likes donuts. And she's.... around most of the time, I'm fairly sure."

A pause.

"Today's exercise will be to get to know them," he said, "Nothing more irritating than turning up to a crime scene and realizing you've no clue how to wrangle your cops, no?" His grin was a little feverish. "Go on. Bother them, not me."

my_own_advocate

"Well, hello, children."

Lucifer was clad in an impeccable black suit with a red vest and - of course - matching pocket square. He was also clad in the world's broadest insincere smile. "My name is Lucifer Morningstar, though you can call me Beelzebub in a pinch if you prefer," he began, with his heavy posh British accent in full swing. "I'll be your - ugh, I can't believe this - teacher for this semester in all things law enforcement."

A pause.

"I am not a cop, mind you. No, the cops have their own ways of going about this sort of thing, they can just be so... limited. A tragic thing, because finding the wicked, punishing them, that's no small task for any human to bear. Sometimes you won't get where you need to be with a dour face and your best Miranda-ing shout, you need wit and charm and a willingness to trade some trivial bit of evidence for more insight."

He was keeping his distance from the children. They seemed hateful.

"But that'll be next week's lesson. I've been told by this lovely brochure that the first week is introductions and I don't actually have to do anything." He gestured at a random student. "You. Your name, your class, and... ah, I don't know. Someone wicked you've once punished?" His expression went... difficult. "Or just tell us what you desire most from these next few months, whatever suits your fancy."

He sprawled in his seat, eyeing the class with a mixture of casual disdain and genuine concern.

famous-gut.livejournal.com

The bell rang and Gibbs breezed into the room and started handing out the test before any of the students were really in their seats yet.

"This is your final exam," he growled as he tossed them on each desk. "Answer them to the best of your ability and don't even think of cheating."

Of course what Gibbs didn't know is that while trying to get some tech support on how to use Microsoft Word a certain goth lab rat might have done some slight... editing to Gibbs's test.

Which might be why Gibbs will not understand why anyone might be snickering during the test.

[OCD is UP!]

famous-gut.livejournal.com

Anyone walking into the classroom could probably tell that Gibbs was in no mood to be teaching today. Or for doing anything for that matter. It had been the first time he'd left the basement of his house since Tuesday and, no, he did not want to talk about it.

Which is why he was making the class simple.

"Sit," he ordered and start passing out sheets of paper. "Next week is your final exam. Your assignment today? Summarize what you've learned and share it with someone else. If you have any questions about any subject matter covered, now's your chance to ask."

Yeah. It was a total cop out.

"Well? Start working," he growled.

That wasn't going to stop him from making the kids do the assignment.

[OCD is finally up. Sorry for the long delay]

survivesplague.livejournal.com

Teaching. This was apparently something Kyle was going to have to get used to when he went back to Luke's Academy, but still. He wasn't sure it came naturally. Because of that, Kyle figured he might as well just dive into it.

Not literally. He put a box down and opened it up before speaking.

"Sometimes you're going to need to go undercover. This means that you're taking on a new persona and disguise to blend in with criminals. Depending on your assignment, you might be using your cover to hunt for evidence, record conversations, or otherwise put yourself into position to capture criminals while appearing to work with them," Kyle said. "Normally when you do this you'll have some help. Your real colleagues will set you up with identification, some mission objectives, and they'll set up stings based on information you pass along. From there, you have to convince your fake colleagues that you're one of them without crossing any lines and becoming a real criminal yourself."

"It's tough work. Not everyone is suited to it. Your life is constantly in dange, so even if you survive with your morals intact, your nerves might have frayed severely."

"Today we're going to focus on the lighter side, though. There's a big box here with a bunch of ~~moddable~~ costume pieces - hats, glasses, fake facial hair, that kind of stuff," Kyle said. And there was a lot of fake facial hair. Somebody might think that kids around here need to think about the kind of impact a good beard could have on their lives. "You'll need to put together a disguise, come up with a name and background, and try to convince the panel that you won't be killed inside of en minutes. May the Force be with you on that point."

eager-platypus.livejournal.com

The students had been ~~handwavily~~ notified to come to the Danger Shop today, and when they did, they would find themselves facing a long row of training dummies.

"It is rare to meet a criminal who is actually willing to be arrested and comes along peacefully," Ziva said. "Sometimes, a small amount of force is necessary in order to take a person into custody - the keyword being small." Using one of the training dummies, Ziva showed the students the pressure points that would incapacitate someone, but not cause them any permanent damage.

"Now, I would like you all to try hitting these dummies in the places I showed you. If you hit the right spot, the area will make a dinging noise and turn green. If you hit a bad spot that would genuinely harm someone, the area will buzz and turn red. Are there any questions?"

glasses-justice.livejournal.com

When Alex entered the classroom, she had a German shepherd with her. No worries, he was housebroken. In fact, he was possibly better behaved as a dog than he ever had been as a human, but saying that out loud would probably earn you a head-slap.

( A Lawyer's Perspective )

Current Mood: pleased

solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com

There was a ~~handwavey~~ note for the students to meet outside today. Since the weather was just starting to get perfect for this sort of thing, what better day than now to illustrate walking a beat?

Vimes inhaled, looked at the class for a moment before nodding in something that could be considered approval. Probably wasn't, but it would do for now.

"Alright, fall into line then. Today we'll be doing one of the most basic parts of being a copper. Walking your beat," He said, gesturing toward the town. "You do this every day on the job, rain or shine."

Even if they were lucky bastards with this weather. In Ankh-Morpork, it would probably be raining frogs just to spite him.

"Along the way, you get a feeling for the place. When something doesn't feel right, who the usual suspects are and who you can ask questions about crimes. You keep it up and you just might be a decent copper." He waved vaguely at the assembled mass of children. "Get to it then."

famous-gut.livejournal.com

There had been a *handwavy* notice for all the students to meet at the shooting range for class today. When the class arrived all the safety gear was laid out for them and several examples of fire arms were laid out on the table.

He also made sure the rules were posted and read off every one to the students. It was clear he was not going to tolerate any foolishness today.

SAFETY RULES:

· TREAT ALL GUNS AS IF THEY WERE LOADED

· KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNTIL READY TO FIRE

· BE SURE OF YOUR TARGET AND WHAT’S BEYOND

· ALWAYS WEAR HEARING AND EYE PROTECTION

· NEVER USE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS BEFORE OR WHILE SHOOTING.

· CHECK IN ALL WEAPONS BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE RANGE.

"You violate any of those rules?" Gibbs said giving all the students a hairy eyeball, "Or even point a gun at something other than the target, so help me I'll smack you in the head and throw you in detention so fast it'll make your head spin."

( That being said... )

notsobadatall.livejournal.com

Nick had come in nice and early and made sure that the classroom was sufficiently safe for him to be teaching there. That meant he was waiting, leaning on the desk, as the students arrived.

"Hello and welcome to this week's class. My name is Professor Chevalier. Some of you may have taken my art class last semester... or are familiar with my medical history class this semester. Today, however, I'll be covering a bit of the history around law enforcement."

He smiled cheerfully.

"Hopefully, I won't bore you too much. ( Continued, wherein Nick continues to prove that as long as it's old, he's good to teach it. )

[ocd up!]

famous-gut.livejournal.com

On the chalkboard of the classroom, a lesson title had been written on the board:

How to use camouflage and avoid insane co-workers in the workplace

However there appeared to be no teacher leading the topic at all.

After few minutes, Gibbs checked his watch and sighed. "Ralph was supposed to be teaching class today," he announced as he made his way to the front of the class. "I believe he is playing some kind of joke."

Ralph was so getting headslapped later.

"Since he's AWOL we'll be watching a movie instead called Los Angeles Classified," he continued as he turned on the TV and put in a DVD that was most likely a gift from Tony and probably never watched by Gibbs.

famous-gut.livejournal.com

When the students entered the Danger Room they might have wondered which everything was looking like a black light lit paradise.

Or why there are day-glo colored badgers running around.

The first answer would be that the classroom was situated in a laser tag course. The second answer is that Gibbs can't program the danger room well without screwing at least one thing up. So therefor: badgers.

"While on the job you'll be lucky if you never have to fire a weapon," Gibbs began to lecture. "If you're even luckier no one will fire a weapon at you. However the odds of that happening as a law enforcement officer is pretty slim. So for today's exercise your goal is to stay alive on this course. Each of you will pick up one of those toy guns and harnesses as well as a copy of the rules. Work with a team, partner or alone if you want. Last one standing gets this... slightl used... computer thing here."

Actually the Wii console belonged to a certain Dean of Students who lived in the same house as Gibbs. Said console was taken so that Gibbs wouldn't walk in on a game of tennis where people weren't wearing pants.

"Any questions? Any suggestions from my fellow teachers?"

When the questions and suggestions were over Gibbs blew a whistle. "Let's go!"

bau-beefcake.livejournal.com

This was really the first time that Derek Morgan (the version that hadn't been on Vampire Island) had been in one of the classrooms. Oh, he'd visited Reid in his office a time or two, but that was about it. This, though... well, it felt both familiar and not. He liked it. Made him wonder if he shouldn't see about teaching more courses at Quantico.

"Profiling. I'm sure you've heard of it, good and bad. You've seen it in movies like ~~metafor~~ Silence of the Lambs, tv shows, that kind of thing. You've also probably heard about it in other ways. Racial profiling gets a lot of media attention. Now, I'm here to try and clear up some things, as well as to give you a crash course in behavioral science, which is the actual name for what we'll be talking about today."

( Wherein Morgan fails to tackle anything. )

[ocd up!]

famous-gut.livejournal.com

When the students arrived at the Danger shop today they'll find that it had been transformed into full service car wash.

"No. You're not washing cars today," Gibbs said sipping his coffee. "Today we're going to be learning how to capture a fugitive. Half of you will be the fugitives, the rest of you are the chasers. When we've done one round then we'll switch. Also? No powers. Just your own steam If you need to know how this is done then we'll give you an example."

Turning around to look at his TA's, he pointed at Beka. "Cooper. Arrest Lance for murder. Feel free to rough her up."

When that little demonstration was done Gibbs then went on to do a demonstration on how to handcuff a suspect.

Finally Gibbs read off the following list of names:

Anemone
Dinah Lance
Hoshi Sato
Jennifer Walters
Marco
Momoko Akatsutsumi
Naomi Wildman
Rose Hathaway
Tony Foster

"This group is the first group of fugitives," Gibbs called out. "If your name was not read off then you need to start chasing and arresting people. NOW!"

samnotmax.livejournal.com

This week, the anthropomorphic six-foot-tall dog and the small feral lagomorph were going to teach the class. Which was in no way a horrible, terrible idea that was going to end in bloodshed and/or tragedy.

( Violence in Police Work )

Current Mood: creative

eager-platypus.livejournal.com

Ziva waited somewhat patiently at the front of the room for everyone to sit down before clearing her throat and beginning class.

"Since we discussed the most important skill of an officer last week, I thought it would be best to learn about an officer's second most important skill today. Knowing how to track someone without being caught is really an invaluable skill for anyone, but it is especially important for those who are working in law enforcement. Sometimes, for example, you will need to do surveillance on a suspect to gather evidence to bring to court. Criminals rarely commit crimes when they know they are being watched." And the ones who did were far too crazy to discuss so early in the semester. "You must often be sneaky in order to obtain pictures or video to catch your suspect in the act of their crime. Other times, you will need to be able to follow a suspect in order to apprehend them. If you are noticed and they try to escape, it makes for a much bigger hassle to catch them."

Ziva grabbed a stack of handouts, and passed them out before going over the essential requirements of stealthy following. "If the rest of you have anything to add, feel free to say so," she said, looking to the other teachers who were there. "It is possible that I have forgotten something important."

When the discussion was over, Ziva went back around the room and handed each student a piece of paper. "This is your homework assignment," she said. "Each of you has been given the name of another student in this class. Your assignment is to track this student down at some point before the next class and observe them for at least ten minutes without catching their notice. Having another class with them does not count. You must scout them up--" Out, up, whatever. "--and find them outside of your classes. Does anyone have any questions?"

famous-gut.livejournal.com

Gibbs stood in front of the classroom surrounded by coffee makers, his fellow teachers and... Ralph.

"Welcome to class," he said after the students had taken their seats. "This semester we are combining most of the law enforcement resources here on the island to provide you with the benefit of all our years of experience. Except for Ralph. He's here to take attendance."

Right now the trooper was glaring and making faces at Gibbs behind his helmet. Gibbs really didn't care.

"By now you should be tired of introducing yourselves," Gibbs continued, "And if you think that means you get to skip it this time... you're wrong. We're all going to introduce ourselves, instructors included, and tell everyone what we hope to achieve in this class."

Gibbs then pointed at a random person. "You first."

When that was done, Gibbs took his position again at the front of the classroom. "Now that we've finished we're going on to talk about possibly the most useful and practical skill you can ever have in law enforcement. It is not only the most important tool an officer can have but it is a skill that everyone should be familiar with."

( And what would that be? )

[OCD is up!]

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Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday, September 30, 2019

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Law and Order: Interdimensional Edition - Friday

Law & Order: Interdimensional Edition

Law & Order: Interdimensional Edition - Week 13

Law & Order - Interdimensional Edition: Friday (Week 12)

L&O: Interdimensional Edition: Friday, March 26

Law & Order - Interdimensional Edition: Friday

Law & Order - Interdimensional Edition: Friday

Law Enforcement: Interdimensional Edition - Week Eight

Law and Order: Interdimensional Edition - Week Seven

Law and Order: Interdimensional Edition

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Law and Order: Interdimensional Edition - Week Four

Law and Order: Interdimensional Edition - Week Three

Law and Order: Interdimensional Edition - Week Two

Law and Order: Interdimensional Edition - Week One

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