Fandom High School

Summer had honestly been planning on using her most recent life experience dealing with other dimensions' Summers as a whole part of a team and what not for a lesson, especially leading into things like dopplegangers or whatever, but to be honest? She was so annoyed with some of those other Summer right now that she decided it was easier, mentally, for her to just focus on a point in her life when dealing with other Summers was much more simple, and all they did was try to kill her.

So the class was meeting in the danger shop classroom simulator yet again, but things were markedly different. The base of it was all the same....general classroom setting, really, but things had very clearly been abandoned and overtaken by nature for a while now: moss and plants clinging to the dark, dank corners, branches weaving through the windows and across the ceiling, chairs and desks looked worn and weather with time and likely termites. And Summer had meticulously wiped away a small section of the teacher's desk at the front of the classroom so that she could sit on it without getting her white pants too dirty, and then smiled a little at the students.

"We're honing in one a specific dimension again," she said. "This here is a simulation of what could be any sort of post-humanity sort of dimensional apocalypse; Nature has reclaimed what is rightfully hers, and everything we people built are long, long gone. This dimension in particular, though, is actually based on another version of my dimension, where all of humanity with the exception of those of my own family's bloodline, were turned into horrible monsters straight out of a David Cronenberg movie, all because my asshole little brother thought it would be a good idea to try and love potion a girl during flu season, and it got out of hand and infected everyone, and now we have a version of my reality where literally everyone except my family are horrible mutated monsters.

"I mean," she added, "I could go on on why love potions are creepy and gross and you shouldn't do it, but could also destroy all of humanity is also a pretty good reason, too. Now, in my dimension, this all happened up to the point of the flu season meaning everyone got infected by the love potion, but the solution resolved in a very different way, when my grampa just made an antidote, ba-da-bing, bada-boom, everyone was better, but the antidote in this dimension clearly did not work, which is another example of the whole butterfly effect of it all, that it only takes one minor little detail to just change everything, and that leads into the whole concept that there truly are infinite possibilities out there in the multiverse, based on the tiniest things, like, every choice you make is like creating a whole plethora of possibilities and dividing the multiverse into even more separate parts.

"Which, you know, can be a lot. So, today, if you want to go out and explore a little bit of a world where literally everyone except for three people were completely transformed into what could arguably be a new form of humanity, I definitely encourage it, or we can just sit around and talk about it a little bit, and speculate on how we all could just be someone's bad decision away from a total dismantling of civilization, which, you know, is a nice, cheerful topic for a Friday morning, right?"

That morning, an email (or courier pigeon or squirrel Post-It note or whatever your preferred official school correspondence may be) was sent out to the students of Summer's class:

Just imagine, there's a dimension out there right now where the pollen is even worse and my students are STILL having to go to class! Thankfully, this is not that dimension! Enjoy the day off! Happy Valentine's Day! Have a five page essay about how nice it is to not be in that dimension ready for next week!

JUST KIDDING.

I don't want to read that just as much as I'm sure you don't want to write it!

Lots of Love,
Summer Smith

She did think of just taking a field trip to a dimension of Fandom without the pollen, but a class period was rarely even long enough for the effects to start going down, and it just seemed cruel at that point, anyway, really.

Summer was a bit distracted that day, with the weekend and her promise to come home and deal with whatever this Gotron thing Rick was raving about on the phone earlier this week was all about, so she was trying to think of a good class she could have that either didn't require a whole lot of effort on her part or could provide a distraction for her distraction. She was really trying to not just rehash old lessons in this class, but honestly? With not knowing what she'll have to deal with this weekend, she was going for easy and, hopefully, informative and helpful to her students, too.

"This week," she informed them, once they were gathered and ready in their little danger shop classroom that they'd only be spending a few moments in anyway because they were about to catch a portal, "we're taking another field trip. And while last week's was meant to highlight how different some dimensions can be on a very basic and fundamental level, this week's adventure is going to focus on dimensions that sort of take an element to an extreme to flip the script on our expectations. And for that, we're going to a world that answers the pressing question of What If Dogs Were the Top Species Instead of Humans? That's right, we're going to Dog World.

"Dog World is basically a world where dogs evolved like humans, and humans involved like dogs, so dogs are the dominant species and humans are basically pets. Which can be a little off-putting, but also, it's kind of an important lesson? As, like, a reminder that humans aren't shit everywhere, you know? We could probably stand to be taken down a few notches in some dimensions, there's even dimensions where people are, like, furniture and phones, and I always consider taking one of these classes there, but I thought you guys would appreciate not having sentient armchairs trying to sit on you. Or potentially making you feel really awkward about eating pizza again.

"The biggest threat we might face in Dog World, other than the giant birds," yes, that was randomly thing in Dog World, don't ask, "is someone trying to adopt you, probably, or take you home, so keep that in mind. Luckily, the current emperor of Planet Dogg-One is actually our old family pet, Snuffles, so I've got an in. He's been emperor for a while, he's kind of a tyrant, not gonna lie, but he's fairly benevolent and the people like him, so, hey, you know, if it works, it works. So, let's everyone get ready, hop on through the portal, we'll meet some dogs and you can ask questions and experience a world where dogs are humans and humans are dogs!"

The class was meeting in the danger shop classroom again today, only instead of dinosaurs out the window, the students would find a sort of cyberpunk neon landscape spread out around them, replacing the old medieval aesthetic of the island to no purpose at all except that it was amusing to Summer. Also amusing to Summer was the fact that she'd leaned into the whole teacher vibe with her outfit, pencil skirt and button up and cardigan, fake glasses perched on her nose and her usual ponytail coiled up into a neat bun. Just like the landscape outside the window, she had no intention of addressing this and, in fact, just started in on the lesson.

( And here there be AUs.... )

"Overall," she concluded, "when you really start to dig into these and inspect them closely, it can all feel really meta on a level that you're not really sure you should be examining. It can almost make you start to question what reality even is...is there One True Reality? How do you know which is which? Are you the imposter, the slightly-altered version of some other Prime Reality? Maybe none of it's real, it's all just some sort of simulation or, I don't know, a game of some sort and we're not actually autonomous creatures but rather some playthings of higher powers acting in ways beyond our control.

"And that's usually the point where, if you don't just stop and take a breath and not think about it too much, you'll just end up in a spiral, so that's where I'm going to stop and open it up to you guys, and I swear, we're not going to be doing too many of the esoteric psychological theory lessons, I'm usually a much more experiential and hands-on teacher, but I do believe these are important things to look at if we're doing a class about the multiverse. What are your thoughts?"

"Alright, guys," Summer came into the classroom that day just a smidge late, coat covered in splotches of color from the snow outside, with her arms full of a box of donuts and a to-go carrier of drinks, "hope you didn't get too comfortable, because we're skipping the preamble and getting right into it today, since it's our last class. I'm bringing treats with me, though, so hopefully that'll make up for it."

The portal, even, had pretty much been ready to go even before Summer got there, and, unless anyone was feeling particularly ambitious and decided to forge ahead without her, she told everyone to get up and hop on through and they'll get started...

....in another classroom.

That looked exactly like the classroom they'd just been in. Except, actually, no, wait, it wasn't exactly the same. At first glance, it definitely looked like it, but the more you looked, the more you noticed the little details: the blackboard was actually dark green, the style of the desks were different, the desk at the front was actually bigger, and the numbers on the clock on the wall were unfamiliar. A glance out the window would reveal not a scenic view of an island off the coast of Maryland, but instead surrounding snow-capped mountains. There was something a little off about the birds flying around out the window, too, and it probably wouldn't take too long to notice a chipmunk scribbling away in a tiny notebook in the room, too.

Summer made no comments on any of this, sliding the box of donuts next to another box of donuts that was already on the desk, and putting down the drinks. She opened both boxes: both had donuts, but different donuts from the other. In fact, the donuts in the box already there were decidedly squeare And then she turned to the class.

"So today," she explained, "is our last class, and I thought I'd bring it around full circle. I'd mostly like to just talk about what we experienced here, so come on up and grab some donuts if you want, I didn't know what you guys like to drink, so there's coffee, tea, and hot chocolate to choose from. And then we're just going to...talk. About what you guys learned in this class, how you're feeling about it, was there something you wished we'd done more of, do you have any further general questions? And I mean, we can also still definitely go somewhere else if there's something you still want to experience and I know a good way to go there, too. So....yeah. That's the class today. I'll mostly hand it over to you guys and feel out if you feel you're a bit more prepared for what the multiverse at large might throw at you.

"Although, even if we stay put, we do have to head back a little earlier than usual. Eventually, this dimension's version of this class is going to show up to use the classroom. In my experience, in most dimensions, the whole thing about you dying if you meet your doppelganger is totally untrue, although many versions of me have tried to kill me and, obviously, failed, but the version of me in this dimension is actually blonde? And that just weirds me out on a deeply fundamental level, so the less I have to worry about dealing with her, the better."

Also, she did tend to have a bad habit of getting into fights with herself in these encounters (see: previous comment about trying to kill each other, actually), and she was pretty sure both she and her blonde!dimension self would agree that that was not a cute look.

"So, here we go," she lifted her own peppermint mocha in a toast, "last class. What've you go for me?"

All the little tiny horses prancing around (which, let's face it, was absolutely one of Summer's favorites, because, I mean, come on!) had really sort of struck some inspiration for her for her class that day, but it took a little doing, because, even though she knew of some places that they could portal to to experience things first hand, blah blah blah Prime Directive, probably best leave it to the sim. So they were meeting in the danger shop that day, it would appear as though either they had been shrunk down into tiny little versions of themselves, or the world around them had expanded to significant size.

You know! Kind of like that one movie!

"Hey, guys!" Summer greeted. "And welcome to a world where people are very, very small and everything else is very, very big! I figured it would be interesting to get in the perspective of what these tiny horses all around today might be feeling, but, like, even more so, because if there's one thing this class should be teaching you, it's that the multiverse is vast, and so while most things seem to be designed for humanoid sized things, other places definitely aren't. And since I've got some trauma tied into being bigger than everything else, I figured this was the safer route to go.

"So today we're just going to exist and explore and experience a world that's clearly not designed for us, and figure out how to navigate it as best we can and hopefully got get attacked by giant bees or bitten by...."

She almost said giant spiders, but stopped, remembering Jon, "snaaaakes? Or getting trapped under a leaf that's, like, big enough to be a tent for you. Have fun! Let me know if you have questions or want to make this seem like an actual class by having a discussion about it!"

"I'm gonna be honest with you guys," said Summer, leaning against the desk as per usual at the start of the class with a little bit of a shrug, "this week's class isn't going to be focused too much on how fuck-y the multiverse could get, but it'll be another one just looking at the diversity of the multiverse, in a way that definitely doesn't have anything to do with me being too lazy to put anything else together right now. Look, it's been a rough month, and sometimes, you just gotta take a trip on over to Blips and Chitz for a class, because why the fuck not?

"What is Blips and Chitz, you may ask?" she continued. "It's pretty much my universe's answer to Dave & Buster's in space, so a giant, sometimes planet-covering arcade filled with all sorts of games, prizes, food and booze. It's a class, so I suggest you avoid the booze, but I've got cards loaded with credits for you guys so you can play whatever you want an experience a vast array of media that maybe be just slightly similar to something in your own dimensions but just a little different, while being around a lot of different aliens from all across my galaxy.

"If there aren't any questions before we go, I'll pull up the portal and we'll just go have some fun for a bit and, I don't know, just to make things feel a little more class-like, try to, like, think about how even in the infinity of space, big loud consumerism is still a driving force and blah blah blah capitalism, or something. Or how some of us were kids this weekend, and this is a place where you don't have to be a physical child to tap into that childhood nostalgia or love of games and fun. I don't know. It's a space arcade field trip, it doesn't have to be that deep, but your assignment today is to pretend that it is."

Once again, the class was meeting in the danger shop classroom simulator, but things were markedly different. The base of it was all the same....general classroom setting, really, but things had very clearly been abandoned and overtaken by nature for a while now: moss and plants clinging to the dark, dank corners, branches weaving through the windows and across the ceiling, chairs and desks looked worn and weather with time and likely termites. And Summer had meticulously wiped away a small section of the teacher's desk at the front of the classroom so that she could sit on it without getting her white pants too dirty, and then smiled a little at the students.

"We're talking alternate dimensions again," she said, "because I feel like that's really some of the most mind-fucky aspects of this whole multiverse stuff, anyway. Now, this here is a simulation of what could be any sort of post-humanity sort of dimensional apocalypse; Nature has reclaimed what is rightfully hers, and everything we people built are long, long gone. This dimension in particular, though, is actually based on another version of my dimension, where all of humanity with the exception of those of my own family's bloodline, were turned into horrible monsters straight out of a David Cronenberg movie, all because my asshole little brother thought it would be a good idea to try and love potion a girl during flu season, and it got out of hand and infected everyone, and now we have a version of my reality where literally everyone except my family are horrible mutated monsters.

"I mean," she added, "I could go on on why love potions are creepy and gross and you shouldn't do it, but could also destroy all of humanity is also a pretty good reason, too. Now, in my dimension, this all happened up to the point of the flu season meaning everyone got infected by the love potion, but the solution resolved in a very different way, when my grampa just made an antidote, ba-da-bing, bada-boom, everyone was better, but the antidote in this dimension clearly did not work, which is another example of the whole butterfly effect of it all, that it only takes one minor little detail to just change everything, and that leads into the whole concept that there truly are infinite possibilities out there in the multiverse, based on the tiniest things, like, every choice you make is like creating a whole plethora of possibilities and dividing the multiverse into even more separate parts.

"Which, you know, can be a lot. So, today, if you want to go out and explore a little bit of a world where literally everyone except for three people were completely transformed into what could arguably be a new form of humanity, I definitely encourage it, or we can just sit around and talk about it a little bit, and speculate on how we all could just be someone's bad decision away from a total dismantling of civilization, which, you know, is a nice, cheerful topic for a Wednesday morning, right?"

"Right. So."

Summer was leaning on the desk at the front of the classroom sim in the Danger Shop, in part because it was still hilarious, but mostly just because in a sim, she could project a Fandom outside the windows of the classroom that hadn't become....well...

You've all seen it by now, surely. So the Fandom outside was idyllic and unscathed by billboards and gas stations and living YouTube ads that you couldn't just skip because they were real life, and it was nice, goddammit, and she regretted every single Starbucks she'd had since they started popping up, and, in fact, had briefly popped over to another dimension and pointedly returned with some Harbucks, just to prove a point.

And, well, because it was topical to the lecture.

"You guys have probably noticed that the island has, for some reason, decided to turn itself into an absolute corporate hellscape, which means two things: one, I'm really worried that it's going through another thing, like, do not even get me started about the summer it tried to find itself and took us all along for the ride, but, you know what? We all go through a capitalist whore phase, I'm sure it'll pass, and two....let's talk brands. Because when you start getting into different dimensions and universes, you find weird little details and differences that are just slight enough to freak you out.

"Which I know isn't much of a lesson, but things are really weird this week, we're just going to take the chill road today and talk about stuff like that. I mean, even just things like this," she held up her cup as an example, "or the fact that, in some dimensions, Shoneys is actually more popular than Denny's. Where, because 9/11 didn't happen, McDonald's still has Szechuan dipping sauce on their menus. Where you have Strawberry Smiggles instead of Lucky Charms, and it is way darker. One of my favorite alternate dimensions is my favorite because they have a whole movie franchise of an IP I like that doesn't even exist in my dimension. Going off of our trip to New Zealand, there's even some dimensions where they call King of the Bracelets Lord of the Rings, which, I know, right? Mind blowing."

Oh, no, they'd entered the Meta Ouroboros now.

"So," she said, "that's it, that's the whole class. We're going to talk about brands and how they might vary between different universes and maybe all this talk about lame corporate bullshit will be overheard by the island and it'll realize that we really.....Lords of PSL forgive me for saying this, but....don't need a gazillion Starbucks and dropping the Donuts was a really dumb idea, because now you sound like the IT nerd I used to pick on back at my old high school, Dunkin."

The class would be meeting not in the classroom that week, but, instead, in the Danger Shop, which was a good indication that they'd be dealing with some multiverse stuff that had already f'ed up, or some approximation of it. When they arrived, they would find themselves in a large hangar of a massive space station, with flashing red lights and the occasional pleasantly feminine mechanical voice over the sound systems mentioning a bunch of intruders.

"That," said Summer, looking up toward the voice and then over at the student, "is you guys. Welcome to the part of the class where we start delving into some things that can happen that might really fuck up a universe, of which the options are vast, but most of my own personal experience tends to be on the Big Evil Galactic Empire creating a Mega Weapon of Space Station-slash-Ship that has planet-destroying capabilities, and they intend to use it on anyone who stands in their way. Like, seriously, the amount of times I've encountered this in my incredibly short life is actually pretty staggering, so I can't even imagine how common it actually is in the grand scheme of the multiverse. But, you know what? Every once in a while, the multiverse is fucked, and it's because some assholes got together to put together a really powerful mega-weapon, and it's up to a bunch of scrappy rebels and plucky anti-heroes to save the day. So that's what we'll be working on today.

"This," she continued, "is the NX-5 Planet Remover, brought to you by Wrangler Jeans. Yes, that's right. This particular world-destroyer is corporate sponsored, which adds a whole 'nother level of capitalist dystopia to it, and, in fact, there's an ad! Check it out!"

Summer pushed a button to pull up a screen so that they could, indeed, watch the ad all about the planet-destroying capabilities of the ship which they were currently on.

"And, well, you heard the ad," Summer said, "no secret weakness hole that you can just shoot to destroy the whole thing, so....what do we do? Time to brainstorm and see what we might be able to do to destroy the destroyer before the time runs out, we're caught, thrown in space jail, and they blow up the Fake Earth in this scenario. So....what now? I know I'm kind of throwing you guys into it, but sometimes, that's just how a good old Universe Saving Revolution happens! Let's take this bad boy down with our quick wit, cute banter, and...well, we've got weapons, too, those might help a bunch as well."

"Last week," said Summer, at the front of the classroom again with a portal all warmed up and ready to go behind her for whenever they were ready to venture out into their next multiversinal destination, "we sort of got familiar with the idea of the differences between dimensions and the vast expanse of possibilities out there, because, well, you know, the whole infinite nature of it all. And obviously, there were big differences between this dimension's Pluto and my dimension's Pluto, but what if we could step into one of those dimensions that are pretty much exactly like the one we have here, except that they, like, call Starbucks something different or no one has ever heard of Beyoncé before--I know, right? The nerve! But the subtle ones are just that...subtle. They throw you off enough to kind of mess you up a little and make you feel weird and off-kilter, but that's about it, it's fairly easy to get used to. So, for this one, I like to to go just little bit bigger, and that's maybe going to one of the dimensions where there's a really big flip of the script, where one thing is noticeably different than this dimension, and that's why this is the week we're going to the Dog Dimension.

"So! Quick rundown! The Dog Dimension is basically a dimension where dogs evolved like humans, and humans involved like dogs, so dogs are the dominant species and humans are basically pets. Which can be a little off-putting, but also, it's kind of important? As, like, a reminder that humans aren't shit everywhere, you know? We could probably stand to be taken down a few notches in some dimensions, there's even dimensions where people are, like, furniture and phones, and I always consider taking one of these classes there, but I thought you guys would appreciate not having sentient armchairs trying to sit on you. Or potentially making you feel really awkward about eating pizza again.

"The biggest threat we might face in the Dog Dimension, other than the giant birds," yes, that was randomly thing in Dog Dimension, don't ask, "is someone trying to adopt you, probably, or take you home, so keep that in mind. Luckily, the current emperor of the Dog Dimension is actually our old family pet, Snuffles, so I've got an in. Things got a little rough between us when my grampa gave him sentience in our dimension and then he tried to take over the Earth, but, you know, that's when we sent him off to Dog Dimension, and honestly? It is working so much better for him now. So, let's everyone get ready, hop on through the portal, we'll meet some dogs and you can ask questions and experience a world where dogs are humans and humans are dogs!"

Hey, look! It was the Danger Shop classroom again! Shut up! Summer loved it and you'd have to pry it from her cold, dead hands if you even so much as suggested that maybe she just go and have her class in a regular classroom when that was all she needed. Look, if you had certain technologies, you should really just use them.

There was nothing Danger Shop-produced about the dishes at sat on the front desk, though, wiggling and waiting with some sort of odd presence of awfulness and doom.

Well, some of them, anyway....

"Soooooo," Summer started with a grin, "this is our last class, and I know teachers are always like, 'hey, congratulations on surviving the semester,' but, I mean, let's be real, I think this class gets a little more weight in being able to say that than some others. And if you didn't already have a good idea of just how f'ed the multiverse can be, you've probably got a good idea of that now. Or maybe I've surpassed even my own expectations and made your realized the the multiverse is even more f'ed than you thought it could be even after going to this school for as long as you have. It doesn't matter. You've had experiences, you survived, that's what counts. And so, for our last class, we're just going to hang out, talk about our experiences, or, hell, just leave early if you want, and have some jello."

She turned to look at some of the jello on the desk.

"Seriously, please, eat some jello," she said. "I got really hi--err, celebrated a little too hard last night and made a criminal amount of Doritos jello." Yes, you heard that right. "I mean, we've at least got variety? There's the classic Nacho Cheese jello, I made a freakin' Cool Ranch jello, and even the Sweet Chili Spice flavor. And therein lies your final lesson, guys: if this sounds pretty disgusting and messed up to you, just remember. The multiverse is so f'ed up, that somewhere, in some universe, on some planet, maybe even this one....this is some serious gourmet shit."

There was...a pause.

"I also made some more conventional and less disgusting ones for you all, too, as well as some chocolate and vanilla pudding if you're not into the whole jello thing. Help yourself. There is...a lot."

Someone remind her to make sure she cleared out her pantry before next April, because, clearly, she couldn't be trusted on her own.

When the student made it into the danger shop for class that week, Summer greeted them with a faint smile, while standing on the edge of a flat plateau overlooking a truly gorgeous landscape of a flat valley spotted with lakes in between gentle, tree-topped mountains and slopes, all underneath the dusky blanket of a pre-dawn sky.

"Hey, guys," she started, giving them an apologetic smile. "Sorry for skipping out on you last week, but, oof, man, time holes, am I right, you guys?" She chuckled a little, in that sort of laugh that some of them might come to recognize as one that could not be trusted, like, at all. "But I'm here to make it up to you, for real, with a nice little visit to this planet. This planet is one of the 765 planets in the Milky Way in my dimension that are at least 90 percent similar to Earth. How do I know this? Because at one point, my whole family was on the run from the Galactic Federation, and we needed a place to hide out for a while, and this was one of three of those 765 that weren't under the Federation's thumb. It's gorgeous, too, isn't it? Not a bad place to hide out, right?"

You should all know this was coming:

"Wrong. It's perfect at night, but we're on the outset of dawn right now, and, oh, yup! Here it is! The sunrise!"

They might be able to hear it on its way, a low, dull, continuous sound far beyond the horizon, but the sunrise on this planet was much quicker than an Earth sunrise, and so the sun was in the sky in no time....and it was screaming.

And Summer was now standing there with noise-canceling headphones that she'd apparently pulled out of no where.

"SO GOOD LUCK, GUYS!" she shouted. "YOU'VE GOT THE WHOLE CLASS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO RECONCILE DEALING WITH A SCREAMING SUN! CONSIDER YOURSELVES LUCKY! IF THIS WAS REAL, YOU'D HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT UNTIL SUNSET, AND THE DAYS ON THIS PLANET ARE 42 HOURS! IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS....YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND ASK, BUT I'M NOT TAKING THESE OFF FOR ANYTHING!"

"Good morning, everyone!" said Summer, who was definitely wearing enough green right now to possibly blend into today's backdrop for class. "And welcome to the Irish countryside! I assume. I've never actually been, so I'm trusting the Danger Shop on this one. Anyway, some of you may already know it, but today is a holiday called St. Patrick's Day, and since it conveniently landed on our class day, I'm going to completely bastardize it and use it as an example of how you don't need to go all the way out into space to find crazy celebrations and weird holidays.

( Luck (and/or blatant exploitation, commercialization and approriation) of the Irish! )

"Also," she added, almost as if a quick afterthought, "there's definitely a little leprechaun dude running around that's going to pinch you the whole time if you're not wearing green." She smiled brightly. "Any questions?"

[[ ocd on the way! is up! ]]

"Sooooooo," said Summer, smiling sweetly at the class once they were gathered in the Danger Shop, where they were all in a wide, dusty street in what looked like an quiet little old West town...but in space! "I was thinking of maybe doing something really dumb and easy for today's class, but then I remember next week is the break, so you guys are getting off plenty easy then, so we're gonna do this instead. Don't worry, some of you are going to love this. Some of you will probably hate it, too, which is actually the healthier response, so good for you.

( Like the movie The Purge? That movie sucked! )

Summer turned to her watch. "Alright, guys, just a few minutes until sundown. Ask questions if you've got them, then get ready. We're in for a really stupid night-slash-class period."

[[ ocd on the way is up! CW for purge violence and senseless killing stuff! Today's class brought to you by S02E09 of Rick and Morty, "Look Who's Purging Now"m]]

"Well!" Summer greeted the class maybe just a biiiit too cheerfully. "I guess it's a good thing we did the sex robot planet last week, huh?"

Oh, she was just so stoked right now to be teaching a class this week of people who were still very much technically in an appropriate age range (more appropriate than a few of her past relationships, even), some of which had actually been classmates at one point. So. Stoked.

"Anyway, I know this semester I've sort of been really promoting the whole 'let's think of alternative options before we start just shooting up the place' thing, but sometimes? You gotta just sort of shoot up the place. And I have a few lesson plans that involve, like, big elaborate situations and plots and everything, but we're just going to skip all that this time because I'm, like, ninety-nine percent sure none of you are going to care. So here we go."

She gestured around the Danger Shop, which had been set to look like some sort of hall on a clearly-not-Earth planet, with tables filled with aliens set all around a large open space in the middle.

"We're on the planet Squanch right now, at a wedding reception."

Why a wedding reception? Because making a throw-away class based around one of your most traumatic and formative experiences was healthy, right? Look, Summer wasn't going to break down the psychology of it all right now, she was all worked up on stupid sex pollen in addition to mildly freaking out about some monitoring chip that her grandfather may or may not have put inside of her. She had some things going on right now.

And then, all of a sudden, the roof exploded and in flew a bunch of bug-like aliens weilding laser guns. And oh, look! Suddenly there was a wide array of other weapons on the tables now, as the wedding guests screamed and started scrambling.

"Which has now officially be crashed by Gromflomites, and I really, really, really hate these guys, they're Galactic Federation scum, so let's all just grab weapons, try not to get any innocent civilians caught in the crosshairs, and just blow up some aliens, yeah?"

Summer wasn't going to wait for them to agree, she already had out a gun and started shooting.

[[ ocd is up! go shoot Federation scum! ]]

"Heyyyy, guys!" Summer beamed at the students in greeting as they gathered in the Danger Shop as usual, where they would find themselves in the living room of a very typical, not-at-all-based-on-Summer's-actual-childhood-home-cough-cough where there appeared to be a party underway, with the guests ranging from your very typical average Earthling teenagers and a great deal of aliens and creatures that were decidedly not from Earth at all. "So, I feel like it's been kind of a chill week, so I thought maybe we'd have a chill day today, with a nice scenario I'm sure we can all relate to, because who hasn't been in a situation where you knew your parents were going to be out for the weekend and so you decided to throw an awesome rager at your house, only to then have your grampa completely usurp it by inviting all of his very weird and morally questionable alien friends to crash it?

"Oh, just me?" Apologies for steamrolling anyone who actually had had that experience, she was doing a bit here, okay? "Okay, then! So now it's your turn. Here's the sitch: you're throwing this party, it's going great, everyone's having a good time, no big deal. Then comes in all your grampa's weird friends, and things start to get a little...well, we'll say rowdy. You're definitely losing control of the room. And then you get a call from your parents letting you know that whatever dumb Titantic thing they were doing was just as dumb as you told them it was going to be, so they're heading home early.

"You've got the rest of the class period to try to get things under control and keep this from being at total disaster. Oh, and in addition to the unruly crowd, some jackhole totally set off one of your grampa's teleportion devices aaaaand the house got sucked into an alternate dimension and you've got to go collect some crystals as the only way to bring it back and the crystals are guarded by a giant monster."

Summer beamed at them again, lifting her red solo cup in a toast.

"Have fun, you guys!"

[[ and Summer's ocd will kill me on day...but not today! It's up!]]