Fandom High School

“Hey guys, today we’re going to be talking about finals and finals week,” he said. “I know that you’ve been through finals week before and have taken plenty of finals in your life but college finals are different. They are definitely more intense and everybody kind of goes crazy during the week.”

“The most important thing is that you always be one-hundred percent sure of when and where your finals are. This is one test you can’t make up. Check, check and then check again. I can not tell you how important that is,” Marshall said. He got a little confused when his school used military time for their finals. “Second thing, make sure your alarm clocks are set right. Actually...that’s part of the first thing.”

“Okay, um, try not to anger anybody also studying. They very well might knife you. And try to convince your friends to not do anything interesting that whole week. If you know that they are on a road trip to go lick the Liberty Bell then that’s all you’re going to think about,” Marshall said. “I know most teachers are going to tell you to pace yourself and not to cram but we all know that you are going to be pulling an all nighter before the test. It’s just what we’re programmed to do. Try not to drink too much coffee during these all nighters. You’ll be spending valuable study time in the bathroom. I recommend candy for pick-me-ups,” Marshall usually gained 10 pounds during finals week.

“Listen to your instincts. You know what you need to do to make studying happen. Everybody has their own style. You just need willpower and the ability to buckle down and get a job done,” Marshall said. “And most importantly, RELAX. Seriously. Freaking out is going to get you nowhere. The only time you need to freak out over a test is if the teacher has your brother hostage and will kill him if you fail...but somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“So today we’re going to be going through a little obstacle course. Hypothetically you have woken up late for your 8 a.m. exam and now have five minutes to make it across campus to your classroom,” Marshall grinned. “Okay, I’m going to be honest. I just wanted to make you guys run around. It’s kind of funny I get to make people do these things and get paid for it. Um…have fun!”

[Wait for OCD is up!]

Marshall was looking kind of awkward and uncomfortable today. It was especially noticeable when he walked around. It was like he had almost too much freedom. “Alright, um, this isn’t related to class today but if anyone sees a bunch of underwear that says ‘Mr. Lily Aldrin’ written in the band? Could you let me know?”

“...My wife thought it would be funny to write that in there. I mean, it's not that big of a deal, I'm sure I'll get used to it. It's just when I play Wii tennis I like to wear no pants and I don't think of any my friends would appreciate me being underwearless in that...situation...” Marshall said awkwardly. “Anyways...”

“Hopefully today will be a quick class since we’re going to discuss what you’re doing right now; going to class,” Marshall said with a grin. “I’ve got one thing to say about the subject: go to class. I cannot stress this enough. Most teachers take their test questions directly from lecture.”

“In college you get a freedom that most kids aren’t used to and with that freedom comes great responsibility. Huh...that’s catchy. Anyways, your first test in responsibility is making sure you drag your ass out of bed to show up to lecture. And it’s so hard to do, I know. Especially when you were drinking the night before or you’ve got a nice warm body asleep next to you or there’s a Space Battles marathon on TV. But you gotta do it. At the bare minimum, show up to class, sign your name to the attendance sheet and then fall asleep. At least you’ll get attendance points for the day.”

“Now you know as well as I that you aren’t going to go to every class you have. Things come up. A sudden road trip, your roommate has their head stuck in something, two chicks were fighting in the dorms and there were wet t-shirts involved. Stuff happens. Just make sure stuff is few and far between,” he said. “And when you do miss class get notes from the token overachiever in class. You know the one. Also? Have a excuse ready for the professor.”

Marshall sat down at the edge of his desk. “Which brings me to the activity for today. One at a time, come up here and give me your best “Why I wasn’t in class yesterday” excuse. And make ‘em good. Now when you go to college you’re not only representing yourself and your family. You’re representing Marshall Eriksen and his teaching skills. I refuse to send any bad liars off to college.”

[Wait for OCD is up!]

Marshall had told Ned he’d make pancakes and that’s what he did. And since he was the awesomest teacher EVER he was kind enough to make enough for the whole class.

“Hey guys! Grab yourselves a plate and help yourself to some pancakes,” Marshall said when the class filed in. “I made them myself this morning.”

( The application process )

[Please wait for OCD is up!]