fandomhigh | Entries tagged with escape artistry

For a change, today Aphra had her class meet her on the front lawn of the school.

"Sometimes, when you need out of a situation, you need resources that you don't have ready to hand. Which means you need to get creative and find those resources." Points to anyone who could guess where this was going, especially today. "Accordingly, I have placed resources that you need around this lawn, and once you fill up your bucket you're free to leave. Happy belated zombie bunny ritual weekend!"

Yep, enjoy your half-price chocolate kids.

jedigrammarians

Your teacher was back in front of the class. Yay. Complete with a very dubious tween beside her. Yay?

"So there are some things you actually can't escape from," Aphra said. "Not without being a terrible person." Which some people were actually okay with, just so you knew.

"But just because you can't escape from those responsibilities doesn't mean you can't find ways to discharge them that aren't going to lead you to soul-crushing despair. Sometimes the right solution is to recognise that you aren't the kind of person who should be taking on those responsibilities and instead find a better person and place for them."

"I'm not going to visit grandpa," Nebitu said. "And I told you Dad's place is too noisy."

"Oh, c'mon."

jedigrammarians

"Sometimes," Aphra said, in a tone like she was imparting the very wisdom of the universe. "The thing you need to escape from is..."Dramatic pause."...yourself."

Aphra, it was sex pollen week, not idiot pollen. Even if it was hard to tell on occasion.

"Because sometimes your own worst enemy is yourself." That might be true for some people in this room. "Sometimes, mess up and you push everyone away and no one will take your calls anymore."

Then her comm unit crackled and a somewhat annoyed voice came out. "Flamingo Buffet? How did you even get the frequency to send me those pictures? Call me."

Aphra was already halfway out the door. "So think on that. You do like you? Or something."

sith_happened

Hello, Exit Strategies! Your teacher was much taller than usual today. And a dude. And Anakin Skywalker.

"Surprise," he said dryly. "Dr. Aphra is indisposed again this week."

Ignore any claw marks that may or may not be on Anakin's hands, please and thank you. "So today you will work on exit strategies with me."

This will only go well.

He pressed buttons and the Danger Shop changed into a conference room: clear glass walls, plastic bottles of water, weirdly dated electronics, ugly chairs.

"Please take seats," he said, gesturing. When everyone was in place, he began. "You are here for an extremely boring presentation for a rival corporation. They are keeping you waiting, currently, as a power play."

He left the room, locked the glass door, and then yelled, "And will be pumping this room full of knock-out gas in two minutes! Adapt and escape!"

Anakin's experience with escapes was a tad on the trying-to-be-fatal side for high school. Whoops.

jedigrammarians

Did Aphra seem especially cheerful and pleased with herself today? Yes, yes she did.

"You're in for a treat today kids," she said. "Because I'm going to be showing you one of the most amazing tricks...hang on, I need a volunteer. You, there, with the pink hair, come up here."

Vi looked so happy to be voluntold. Really she did.

"Now see your classmate here's tattoos?" Without waiting or asking for permission, Aphra grabbed Vi's arm and held it up for the class to see, cheerfully oblivious to the fact Vi was just barely keeping herself from responding with great violence. "Lovely work, really, for something clearly down with a retro technique, but it's lacking a little something something, unlike these."

Still holding onto Vi's arm, Aphra waved her free hand to show off her own elctro-tattoos. Which would be when she turned into a tooka.

"...the actual fuck?" Since Vi wasn't expecting the teacher to turn into a weird poro-cat-thing with creepy little hands, she reacted in a highly reasonable manner and shook her arm to get the weird animal off her. Aphra went flying off and scampered into the nearest vent.

Vi was still swearing up a storm when she also vanished from view and a furious hissing came from the pile of her clothes as a tiny pink kitten crawled out from them.

Well. That was unexpected.

jedigrammarians

"You didn't get eaten last class, yay," said your teacher who wasn't at all hungover this morning, back in the Danger Shop. "So, you just continue doing that. Quietly."

There was nothing in the Danger Shop that could eat them.

OR WAS THERE?

jedigrammarians

Today the Danger Shop looked a lot like an African savannah...well, a cartoon savannah, and Aphra looked very pleased with herself.

Suddenly, music started playing over the cartoon savannah.

~Where can you see lions?
Only in Kenya
Come to Kenya we've got lions~

Then, over the tops of the grass, a cartoonish mane appeared as a cartoon lion started swaying towards them. Shortly thereafter a similarly cartoonish tiger appeared.

~Where can you see tigers?
Only in Kenya
Got lions and tigers only in Kenya~

By now the lion and tiger were close enough to see that they had knives and forks in their front paws. Maaaaaaaaaaybe it might be a good idea to run?

jedigrammarians

Today the Danger Shop looked like a very fancy, very intimate, very romantic restaurant, complete with several small tables for two, each with a relatively attractive humanoid seated at them.

"Welcome, kids," Aphra greeted them. "In honour of the holiday, today you'll be learning perhaps the most important escape skill of all. Breaking up!"

So romantic!

"Now I realise this may make me sound like a cynic, but the ability to end a relationship with a minimum of hurt on both sides is a rare and valuable skill." It certainly wasn't one Aphra exercised well. "So today you're going to be breaking up with your long term partner. They're perfectly nice, they haven't done anything wrong, you haven't been unhappy, but lately they've been talking marriage and kids and you've realised you don't see that kind of future with them.

"So get out there and break some hearts. But gently."

jedigrammarians

Aphra had the holoprojector out, which meant only one thing.

"Now, kids, I realise that I'm covering a wide skill-base here, and that's because it's good to know a little bit of everything, you never know what's going to come in handy when, but not everyone's a generalist, and that's okay," she said. "That's why we had that class on teamwork, because while there's nothing wrong with being a specialist, the narrower your focus, the more people you need around you to get anything done.

"Especially if what you want to accomplish is something spectacular."

Look, it was Aphra's favourite holo. She would find a way to work it into every class.

jedigrammarians

"We're having another back to basics class, kids," Aphra told them cheerfully as they came into an actual classroom today. "Real basics depending on the tech level of where you're from."

With a dramatic gesture, she whipped a drop sheet off a table revealing an array of various kinds of locks and tools. "Today you're learning lock-picking old-school! Because you never know when someone's going to clap a set of old-fashioned mechanical cuffs on you. We'll get to fancier modern locks in a later class, once you've got the basics down." Probably.

jedigrammarians

The Danger Shop was set up as the swankiest of swanky parties. The food was good, the drinks may or may not have contained alcohol, attractive gentlebeings of all genders and species mingled. In all it was the kind of event you'd expect your teacher to be summarily ejected from.

"I feel I've been neglecting your soft skills," Aphra said, that and she felt like a party. "So enjoy the do, mingle, have some snacks, deal with a random awkward social situation, just have fun."

jedigrammarians

"Okay, so we're going to revisit the buddy system later down the track," Aphra said, not looking at anyone in particular. Tahani. Vi. "Instead we're going to look at the right way to exit the situation. Namely, the one that works."

She waited a moment before continuing. "If there's anything I want you guys to take away from this class, it's that results matter more than method. Unless you're hung up on ethics, but even in that you can just redefine results. Your goal is to get out of a situation with your skin, and possibly other people's intact, you might need to lie, you might need to steal, or cheat, or blow things up, and what works for some of you mightn't work for others, you do you."

That probably wasn't how that phrase was supposed to work, Aphra.

"Anyway, we're going to watch a short instructional film about different ways to handle the same situation, then I want you think about which of those three ways speaks to you. Share with the class even."

jedigrammarians

Once more, Aphra was at the head of the classroom sim and looking like she had many regrets over teaching a morning class.

The sim itself was set up with two person tables which she directed the class to sit at. "Now there's a lot of moving parts that go into creating an exit strategy, some you can control, some you can't so today we're going to talk about the one you really, really can't, which is people. Today we're looking at the buddy system!"

Aphra waited a beat then pressed a control, and everyone suddenly found themselves hand-cuffed to the person they were sitting next to. It sim itself also changed from a classroom to a crashed shuttle (not on fire, for once, Aphra was working up to that). "Oh no, the prisoner transport crashed," Aphra declared dramatically. "Can you make it to the end of class without being recaptured?"

satedan-soldier.livejournal.com

When students entered the Danger Shop for the final time this workshop session, they would find the large area blank other than a table filled with all the different tools they'd encountered, including paintball guns, wooden bokutō, screw drivers, hammers, awls, and crowbars.

"Today you're escaping from the final any way you can. There's the door," he pointed his thumb at a control panel that had appeared on the wall next to where the door had previously been. "It opens with a code. Your job's to try to get me to tell you the code or figure out another way to get through the door. Who wants to go first?"

Current Mood: amused

satedan-soldier.livejournal.com

As they entered the Danger Shop, students were provided with some fancy paintball guns (that looked shockingly like USAF submachine guns and sidearm handguns) and even fancier protective vests.

The Danger Shop had been converted to show the landscape of an alien planet that looked surprisingly like a forest in Vancouver with lots of trees and ground dense with vegetation. Ronon stood in a long brown leather coat with a sword strapped to his back in and area that looked like a large camp with little brown huts and fire pits. The camp was also dotted with angry, armed, brown homespun-clad men lurking on pause.

Once students seemed to be finished gearing up, Ronon pointed his thumb at the waiting natives. "These men want to kill you. The darts they're shooting act like your planet's paint balls. Once you're hit, you're out because they took you prisoner and fed you to some monsters. Your goal is to escape from this camp and make it two miles through the forest to the Ring of the Ancestors ~~aka Stargate~~ where you've gotta input a combination code and walk through the ring." If his eyes lingered on Teyla during this, it was so he wouldn't stare at Rodney. "The code's the seven symbols on the paper in your vest pocket." So helpfully planted ahead of time. "When the ring activates, you walk through and the game's over."

Ronon moved to turn on the simulation, turning back to add, "I recommend you work together. It's easier to dial home when someone's got your six." That someone was usually him. Ronon pressed some buttons and the natives started yelling, running, and firing darts at the class.

It was just like back home.

Current Mood: homesick

satedan-soldier.livejournal.com

Today, the Danger Shop was set up like a fine restaurant, complete with small tables, ~~moddable~~ wait staff, and mood lighting. Standing in front of the scene and waiting for the students, Ronon was not smiling.

"As of right now, all of you are faced with a complicated and uncomfortable situation: a date you don't want to be on. I'm told this is a common problem for people on this planet. Four escape methods are listed in your handout, including Faking an Emergency, Slipping Away Unnoticed, Slipping Out the Window, and Getting Your Date to Leave. These methods assume that your date is some sort of trained assassin bent on your demise or that you're afraid of what your date would do in public if you walked out on them. Sounds like some dates McKay's been on." He smirked at the assembled teens, almost wishing Sheppard was there to share the barb.

"Go ahead and make up your own escape methods, but I hear the goal is to get out without anyone crying or drawing weapons." Ronon obviously didn't approve of this last part. Weapons should always be an option. "Good luck."

Current Mood: smirky

satedan-soldier.livejournal.com

When students entered the Danger Shop, they were again faced with a watery situation that looked an awful lot like their current Australian port. Everyone had been ~~handwavily~~ instructed to wear swimming gear, and if they failed to remember, the room would provide it for them and they could ~~handwavily~~ change. Once everyone was appropriately dressed, they were given handouts, ushered onto the waiting boat, and taken quickly out to sea.

"Like you saw from the handout, today you're escaping from sharks," Ronon said. "Remember to only engage the shark if it attacks you first. If you play dead, it's less likely to attack than if you flail in terror." He looked at various students to be sure they were paying close attention to these instructions. "Any questions before you make your escape?"

[ooc: OMG I totally almost forgot to post this!]

Current Mood: oops

satedan-soldier.livejournal.com

The Danger Shop was set up like the Salle. The main difference was the giant Satedan in the center of the room, going through a complicated practice routine with a bokutō blade. When they arrived, he stopped and approached the group with a feral smile, spinning the wooden sword in his hand as he spoke.

"Today we're sword fighting. If it's your first fight, there's a handout for you. First thing to know about sword fighting: keep your eyes straight ahead. Focus on the enemy. Never ever look away from your enemy. It shows weakness. Are you weak?" He stared down a couple students in particular as he paced the floor in front of them all. "Second thing: You’ve gotta anticipate the enemy's next move. Always be ready. I'll give you a minute to look at the papers." Ronon stepped away, preparing to instruct them on how this was going to go down.

Current Mood: wtf

satedan-soldier.livejournal.com

When students entered the Danger Shop, they'd find themselves transported to the lush, green bank of a huge river. The water in front of them was deep. How deep? Let's stick with very. The water was also dark, meaning if students looked very closely they might chance to see the shadow of creatures lurking beneath the surface. Tied to the riverbank was a large raft with 20 oars, 5 bags of food, and 5 bags of medicine. Should any students be blessed with super sight, they might be able to see the massive rocks dotting the path to the other side through the dense fog that hung in the air.

Again, Ronon was standing in front of the scene, not looking particularly pleased while he waited for the majority of students to show up.

"Everybody on the raft!" Ronon's voice boomed above any chatting that may have been taking place. "Each of you will take a turn guiding us across the river. Try not to kill anyone or lose your supplies and we'll call it a good escape."

[ooc: *blames

canadianpopstar entirely*
ETA: Use of any and all powers is totally fair game.]

Current Mood: cranky

satedan-soldier.livejournal.com

When students assembled in the Danger Shop, they'd find a long table with screw drivers, hammers, awls, and crowbars near a long wall lined with a variety of doors. Some were obviously thin, wooden, interior doors with privacy doorknobs and some were much thicker, metal, exterior doors with deadbolts and sturdier doorknobs. All were locked and once students came into the Danger Shop they'd discover the entrance had disappeared.

Standing in front of the doors with his arms crossed was a huge man with wild dreadlocks, facial hair, and intricate tattoos on his forearm and neck. He wore a leather tank-style vest, worn leather pants, heavy boots, and a wicked smile.

"This is Escape Artistry," Ronon grunted the words at those assembled on-time. "Stupid name for a class, but I didn't pick it. They said day one is about keeping it easy and getting to know you. Meet the doors." Ronon gestured his thumb toward the wall of doors. "You break one down, we'll do introductions on the other side."

Ronon approached a sturdy, steel, dead-bolted door and delivered a well-placed kick to the point where the lock was mounted, tearing the deadbolt out of the metal door frame and causing the door to cave in on itself and smash loudly to the floor. Ronon snorted his disappointment with the door's structure before glancing back at the students. "If you need 'em, there's tools 'n stuff on the table. I don't care how you do it, just get through. I'll be waiting on the other side."

After he stepped through the rubble into the room on the other side, the door he'd destroyed repaired itself through the magic of the Danger Shop. Students would have to work either together or alone to beak down a door and escape the sealed room.

Current Mood: bored

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Entries tagged with escape artistry

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, March 21, 2022

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Exit Strategies, Monday, Period 2

Escape Artistry: Week 7, Period 3 (Thurs. 08/21)

Escape Artistry: Week 6, Period 3 (Thurs. 08/14)

Escape Artistry: Week 5, Period 3 (Thurs. 08/07)

Escape Artistry: Week 4, Period 3 (Thurs. 07/31)

Escape Artistry: Week 3, Period 3 (Thurs. 07/24)

Escape Artistry: Week 2, Period 3 (Thurs. 07/17)

Escape Artistry: Week 1, Period 3 (Thurs. 07/10)

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