Fandom High School

The Danger Shop was very...bright this morning. Bright and colourful. Also sparkly.

Magnus looked like he was having the time of his life with this. A little confused, but still happy. "So, the danger shop won't let us make things attack you for some reason, but in the plus side... there's cake."

Cara looked about as comfortable as you'd expect. "We're reasonably sure it's not poisoned." Just enjoy the damned cake, Cara.

"I've eaten some, so..." His constitution was pretty good, so who knew? "All I have is a sugar high now."

Somewhere behind them, a rainbow colored wallaby hopped by. It was fucking adorable.

Yes, it was. Not that Cara would ever admit that. "If you say so."

Magnus nodded and took another slice of cake. Because he was the guy who ate unicorn, okay? He'd eat the hell out if mystery cake. "So, uh... lesson of the day is enjoying when this place is nice to you for once."

"Don't expect it to last." Could you stop trying to ruin the moment, Cara?

The Danger Shop was set to the front lawn of the school, covered in a thick layer of pristine snow, because shut up, that's why.

Your teachers wanted to go back to vacation already. Deal with that.

Magnus was wearing his usual clothing with a nice winter hat as a nod to the weather. It was an obvious souvenir. "Welcome back to class," he said with a grin. "It's good to see you all made it back from vacation. I mean. I don't think we'd leave a kid behind, but you just never know."

"It's more likely one would try to bring home an extra guest." Cade. "But moving on. Sometimes instead of just punching whatever's causing the problem you need to actually figure out other methods of dealing with it." Because the island operated on crazy person logic.
"Like the jello monsters," Magnus agreed. "Stabbing was so not the right method there."

He looked so sad that he couldn't stab jelly monsters, but he was recovering quickly! "So, we're going with the word of the squirrels again for this one. Apparently snowmen came to life and tried to take over? The notes got covered in Schnapps over the break, so it's hard to tell what exactly happened."

Also, they didn't care. "In any case, you're all smart, I'm sure you'll figure it out." If that seemed directed more towards some students than others, it was, Cara had figured out her favourites by this point.

Magnus could keep an eye on the other kids. Because he was a protection fighter. He did this stuff, yo. "If you guys manage to beat them fast enough, maybe we'll bring in hot cocoa next week."

No, he didn't say what was 'fast enough'.

"And if you're not fast enough, I'll even make the cocoa." They really, really, didn't want her making cocoa. It would not end well for anyone.

"...n-no? No thank you?" Magnus said, giving her a worried look as the snowmen started to loom at the edges of the simulation.

Magnus was basically bouncing about this class because he hadn't gotten to fight anything gelatinous since the very first adventure in the podcast. Oh, Jizz Cave, he sorta missed you.

"Hi and welcome back!"

Cara had questions about Magnus's narrative, questions she was pretty sure she didn't actually want answered. "It's not all robot bar fights in this place," she said. "Sometimes it's even stranger."

His canon also featured a talking elevator that wanted you to go into it's belly. So. Yeah. You made a good choice, Cara.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat?" Magnus said, putting his hands on his cheeks Kevin McCallister style. "Say it ain't so!"

"Hard to believe, I know," Cara said dryly. "Not just that, but there were times when students weren't trusted with anything more dangerous than safety scissors. At all." In case anyone felt being discreet about not keeping things in the weapons locker involved too much effort.

Magnus gave his ax a reassuring pat. And his lance. And his sword. Pats all around to let them know they were safe here. "Which sounds like a bad choice here, but I'm sure lessons were learned by all. Hence this class! Where we bribe the squirrels with alcohol to get all the good dirt on what happened in the past and then inflict it on you."

The brighter students could probably see the flaw in this plan, but Cara didn't care. With her own reassuring rest of a hand on one of her agiels, she continued "Today we bring you the true events of a harmless race interrupted by a truly dangerous foe." A wobbly, wobbly foe.

"I'd venture to say they're probably tasty foes too," Magnus said, tilting his head in deep thought. "Anyway, it's Jello Dragons. Which is pretty cool because the only dragons I've fought before now were in the live shows." He cleared his throat like that had never been said. "Let's kick their asses!"