Fandom High School

When the students walked into the classroom, they would see Yakko standing on his desk and shaking his head disapprovingly.

Shortly after the bell rang, he spoke briefly. "Today we're going to focus more on your personal history. Now think about what you've done and be appropriately ashamed. Do it. Dooooo iiiiiiiiit. Dooooooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

And then he kept repeating 'Do it' with increasingly extended vowels. For the whole class period. Hopefully you did it.

Once the class was all settled into their seats, Yakko closed the door, went to his desk, and pulled out a garden hose. He turned it on and let it start spraying water over by his desk.

"Good morning, everyone! Today we're going to talk about the Lost City of Atlantis!"

Yes.

"Nobody knows where it was, when it sank, how it sank, how people survived, or even if it existed. Some well-studied crackpots think it was an advanced society, but if they were so smart, why were they stuck on one small island that sank? Fortunately, we're much better prepared for that kind of thing today." The students might have noticed a big lever next to Yakko right now. They definitely would have noticed it as Yakko pulled it, dropping life preservers, water wings, and oxygen masks from the ceiling onto the students' desks.

"You have plenty of time to put that on before our dramatic recreation of the sinking of Atlantis is complete. Use that time better than the ancient Atlantians did. Make sure you're not just remembered as a myth that Plato probably made up."

And then Yakko sat down as the water spread across the floor. Don't worry, Yakko closed the door so it would adhere to cartoon physics and not let any water out until the room was filled with water, and then there would suddenly be fish and such in it as it splashed down the hall.

Because that was clearly what you were worried about.

"The year was 1993. With the fall of Communism, the rise of smaller, independent states, and civil wars all over the place to establish those states, the metaphorical shape of the world was changing," Yakko said with all the gravitas he could muster. Then he went back to his higher pitched voice. "But the regular shape stayed the same!" He gave a sharp whistle and beach balls with the globe printed on them fell from the ceiling.

"Those feature the map of the world as it looks today. 19 years ago, the world looked a little bit more like this. ROLL IT!" The lights dimmed and a film started playing at the front of the room.

"And yeah, it really is almost 20 years old," Yakko whispered fight before the song started. "Not that this should make anyone feel old." He winked. Feel old, players. Feel old.

Once the video was over and the lights went back on, Yakko spoke up again. "Less than two decades and the list of countries has changed just a little bit. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to use your modern globes to find all the changes since 1993. Should you decline, your mission is to play with your beach balls. Your secondary mission no matter what you choose is to try to keep this song from getting stuck in your head. Bet you can't do it. KEEP IT ROLLING!"

And with that, the Yakko's World video replayed. On repeat. Over and over again. With the lights on, the picture was clear enough to read and locate countries, but you could also actually read your globes now. And the sound? Well, that would just drive you mad eventually. Maybe.

Have fun!

Yakko had a lute. He was strumming it gently, although it didn't seem like he was playing anything in particular. Probably a good thing. He wouldn't want to get songed out.

"Depending on what kind of legends and movies and realities you've paid attention to, you might have some thoughts about the Middle Ages. And even if you know nothing about the Middle Ages, you probably have thoughts on them now," Yakko said. "Thoughts like, 'What are these middle ages Yakko is talking about?' Don't worry, young ones, I'll explain it."

"From the fall of the Western Roman Empire in the fifth century to the start of the Renaissance in the fifteenth century, Europe was full of knights and dragons and plague and kings and wizards and poorly proportioned people in paintings, especially when they painted babies, because apparently they didn't have eyes and couldn't figure out that babies have GIANT heads, so they just painted the babies as small adults and it was freaky, okay? Gaaaaah." Yakko visibly shuddered there to get the creepy proportions out of his head.

"But in your normal worlds without magic and me visiting historical figures and stuff, about half that stuff didn't even exist. And instead of just me telling you what was there, we're going to have a POP QUIZ!" Two buttons dropped onto each desk. One was marked 'TRUE.' The other 'FALSE.' "Don't worry, the quiz is a learning experience! You won't be penalized for getting something wrong."

"Yakko, why don't you show our students how it's played?" Yakko asked.

At the back of the room, Yakko was sitting at a desk. "Thank you, Yakko! You'll get a statement like, 'Europe was called Center-Earth and was ruled by whoever had a very special toe ring.' If you think it's False, hit the False button!" Yakko hit the False button and a small plastic cup of cola dropped onto his desk. "If you're right, you get pop! But if you're wrong...." Yakko glanced to the other side of the room...

... where Yakko was now sitting with a dunce cap on his head as he hit the True button. To indicate that he was wrong, a clown on a spring popped out of the desk to scare him. He screamed like a girl.

Back at the front of the room, Yakko - now wearing a suit since there were game show elements involved - continued, "... You get a pop! Got it? GOOD! Let's get started!"

Today's class began without Yakko at the front of the room. But it DID feature him doing a voiceover seconds after the lights went out.

"The year was 2012. There was a workshop at a big fancy high school on a small fancy island called Steven Spielberg's Presents: History. A lone genius named Yakko decided to make that class title a little more literal than usual just for one week."

"And so this week, Yakko Warner Presents: A Historical Film By Steven Spielberg: One of the Illinois Smith Movies!"

A flashlight turned on by the students' desks, shining a bright light on the whiteboard. And then Yakko started performing a half-remembered compilation of all four Illinois Smith movies with scenes in random orders, some characters missing entirely, and some clearly replaced with Yakko playing himself. And it was all done with shadow puppets.

It was probably best to just accept that there was no physical way for Yakko to be doing the highly complicated shadow puppets he was making with his hands. Otherwise, your poor brains would probably be shattered by the opening titles sequence, which featured detailed credits, all in the proper fonts and logos despite Yakko not using any props. But frankly, the fight scene with the Nazi aliens in the nightclub while a teenage greaser kept signing 'no no no no no no no no' was probably the most impressive part, since that would have required at least seven hands more than Yakko had.

He kept this up for the whole class period. At no point did the presentation seem to approach an actual ending.

[OOC: I worked 13 hours today and didn't get home until just before midnight. And Monday's going to be nuts. So this is the best I can do at the moment. Sorry about that.]

With this being the first class, the students probably had some kind of expectation that their teacher would be on time. But no, the only thing at the front of the classroom was the teacher's desk and, next to it, a water cooler with a small WB logo on the plastic water jug.

Then the jug started to shake while music filled the room. After a few seconds, the jug was thrown from the water cooler as a black and white puppy-looking thing stood up with his feet still in the water cooler's reservoir.

Any of this might have made more (or even any) sense if class were in the Danger Shop. It wasn't. As it was, the students would just have to convince themselves they weren't crazy as the teacher started to sing.

(And give him a break for starting with a variant on his own theme song. He was just getting warmed up!)

( He sings. AND SO WILL YOU. )