Fandom High School

Today the ball was in Jim's court on the class subject. And poor, poor Nathan just had to follow the notes he was given. God help everyone involved.

"Today we'll be talking about sex in terms of other species. The future for most of you and the present for myself and---a few others." Right. Awkward to think about Spock anywhere near sex. What Uhura was thinking--nevermind that now. "The Ferengi are a humanoid race," He continued, passing out a sheet on that. "That consider commerce a form of government and morality unto itself."

Algren stared at his notes. Stared at them. And then stared at Jim. And refrained from asking if this was real, or if Jim had made this up and had handed him this information on some so-called alien race to make him look like an idiot in front of the class.

And yet there he went, clearing his throat and reading the notes regardless. If he was going to look like an idiot, he was going to do so with confidence.

"Their obsession over wealth, which usually comes in a form of money they know as 'latinum,' has had a somewhat notable effect on the way their society has evolved into what it is... today?" A beat. "Or what it will be." Something like that. "Males are the dominant gender of this species, which makes females into... Well, into an asset, I suppose. Property. Marriage, for example, is more a business contract than lawfully wedded bliss, or whatever people consider it to be nowadays. Marriage doesn't last, it's a lease, signed between the bride's father and the groom for a set period of time and a set fee. The fee is due to be paid when the bride gives birth to a son."

There were many reasons why they never joined the Federation.

"Traditionally, the hammer represents sexual prowess for the Ferengi," Jim continued, sticking to the subject at hand. "Unlike human males, one of the more obvious methods of--" He smirked. "--stimulation is massaging the the lobes of their ears. Sometimes performed in public to demonstrate how successful their business is to be able to afford such services on a whim."

Jim leaned against the desk, looking out at the class. "We would like you to discuss how--if you have knowledge of them--non-human races approach gender equality and sexuality. If not, please use the Ferengi as an example. We will discuss more species later on."

Algren flipped through his notes again. Frowned at them, and then shrugged, looking up at the class.

"You heard the man. Get to it."

"Today we'll be talking about prostitution in the late 20th century and the early 21st century," Jim said, having nothing to torment his co-worker with this week, sadly. If only the vegetables had waited until this week to attack, he could have done something. "There are several different types involved from the increase in the sex tourism industry to the subject of our discussion today the, if I do say so myself, rather stereotypical escort to pay for school bills."

You just didn't see that outside of movies, you know.

"For those of you not in the know, for whatever reason," Algren said, a wry sort of smile toying at the corners of his lips, "prostitution is the act of engaging in sexual acts for money. On the odd-chance that any of you are from some world where such a thing doesn't exist." He doubted it. In fact, it was entirely possible that he just enjoyed re-stating the obvious so that he could pretend he was actually teaching something, here. "It's a practise that goes back just as far as sex and money, and participated in by both females and males, though it's been met with varying degrees of acceptance throughout different eras and cultures. Nowadays, it seems more or less frowned upon... but as we saw when we covered Vegas," and the students should be thankful that he was not making the mandatory reference to bees again, "it is often seen as a given, regardless."

"So. We have the story of Brooke Magnanti who is the real person behind a series of books and then television program depicting her life as she worked as a high priced escort in order to pay her way through a doctorate program. Now, this story is in no way typical for the life of any person in the profession. Considering the numbers of sexually transmitted diseases--" Oh, Jim knew them all. Thank you, Bones. "--and the possibility of being murdered by a client, I'd say you shouldn't start changing your future plans to include prostitution."

"Your assignment today is simple enough," Algren noted, trying not to look too triumphant that they'd gotten through a lecture without him turning shades of red and hiding behind his own hand. "Read the handout, discuss your thoughts on Ms. Magnanti's reveal, and then share your own thoughts, or better still, your own society's views on prostitution with the class. Civilly."

As soon as class arrived today, Jim was there to pass out an exam. Yes, they'd only just come back from a vacation, but class waited for no man.

Plus, he needed to get them passed out before Nathan noticed the questions.

Algren was going to be very upset when he realized that trusting Jim to work the photocopier was very, very risky business indeed.

"You'll be writing your midterm today," he said, while Jim passed them around. "You'll get the entire period to write them, and you may leave when you're finished. Please, leave them on our desk as you exit the room."



( Test time! )

Someday, Algren would learn that it was a good idea to review so-called 'educational viewing material' before letting Jim play it for the class. Yes indeed.

Today was not that day.

But it made Jim happy, at least. And that's all that matters.

"So, today we'll be taking a little break from class to watch a movie. Think of it as the modern take on sexual mores," Jim said, smiling far too much for this to bode well for Nathan.

Algren eyed Jim warily. He didn't trust that smile. At all.

"All I know is that it's been deemed educational by a certain colleague of mine who shall remain unnamed." A beat. "So, if it isn't, don't blame this one on me."

Jim just rolled his eyes. "It's a movie day, no one is going to blame anyone. Just start the movie."

Algren hesitated a moment, partly because he was still highly wary, and partly because he wouldn't know what to do with a DVD menu screen if his life depended on it. But, after a bit of wrestling and some cranky glowering at the remote, he managed to locate the "OK" button and on came the educational movie of choice. Canadian Pie.

Jim was a dead man.