Fandom High School

It was definitely portal time for class this week, because Summer was definitely not going to program a danger shop sim for something she could just arrange a class trip out of, so for once they were actually meeting in an actual classroom where she'd scheduled the portal for instead of the danger shop one. Which sort of still felt funny to her, in a weird sort of way.

But, anyway.

"So I know a lot of you already did the whole mall Christmas shopping thing this week for the assembly," she started, "but, guess what, you're doing the whole mall thing again, only it's different because this is going ot be a mall in space, where there is no Christmas shopping because why would people in space celebrate Christmas? And shopping is only one aspect, and just a small aspect," this was a total lie, they were absolutely going to a space mall just as an excuse to shop whilst in class, "of our trip. Our main goal is for market research," which was code for an excuse to shope whilst in class, "for your final projects, because next week is our last class of the semester, and so the whole goal is to have you develop throughout the week a good pitch for a multidimensional store or business that you'll present to the class next Friday. So this is a good way to get a feel for some of the multidimensional market, get inspired, maybe see what's lacking.

"Also," she added, hefting up a large duffel bag, "we're in luck, because I managed to pin down a dimension where shrimp chips actually are a form of currency, so this stock pile I've been building up over the semester is going ot really come in handy for you guys if you actually do want to buy something. I just have two rules: no weapons, because that's definitely going to come back and bite you in the ass somehow, and no pawn shop sex robots, because that's how you wind up with alien nephews who want to destroy all of humanity because your brother sucks at being a dad."

A pause.

"At least, in my experience, anyway. So, everyone, grab a bag, and let's get ready to do some shopp--I mean, some market research!"

Okay, so Summer had somewhere between the radio broadcast and the start of class to hatch a sort of plan, one that she thought was really sort of brilliant, so by the time she actually got to the classroom, she was feeling pretty confident and excited to kickstart it into action.

"Okay," she said, grinning brightly, and then having a moment of that grin almost completely falling off her face when she saw that apparently this class consisted of mostly all gorgeous girls plus Troy, which, um, could totally a be problem, but it was fine! She was going to roll with it! None of them, after all, had apparently been deemed worthy enough to teach a class! About pretty much just shopping.

"So, like, hi! I'm Summer, I'm apparently, like, totally leading this class today, which I'm really super excited about, and I hope you guys are, too! We're going to have so much fun! And, like, I was thinking, soo.....economics, that's basically just spending money, right? And so that's, like, shopping. But also, that's things like food and movies and, you know, dating stuff And it's important to support local economies, right? So we're taking a field trip! Let's go, everyone!"

To the Perk!

Because she was getting that coffee date, dang it!

"Okay, so," Summer continued once they were all there, "now that we're all here, what we're going to do is pair up, buy some coffee, and, like, totally stimulate the local economy through adorable dating culture! And since I'm the leader of the group this week, I'll take the lead and get things started, so I guess I'll just piiiiiick...." Totally looking over the other students and making a very tough decision here, "....Troy! Sure! Why not, right? So we'll get our coffee and show you guys how it's done, and then you guys can pair up and do the same! Should be fun, right?" She laughed, rolling her eyes like it was the most obvious question in the world. "Totally! Okay, so, let's get started!"

"Good morning, everyone!" They were in the danger shop classroom again, because this class had definitely proven to her that even for normal lessons, holding your class in a sim had its benefits. "It's been a rocky couple of weeks in this class where I kind of feel like certain things have managed to knock it a little off-kilter, so today, we're going to sort of try to get our focus back, and we're going to do that with a sort of group project. We've discovered a few different aspects of multidimensional economics, but I think one thing we can really focus on that will be useful is the development of an idea that will be ultimately successful in the multidimensional marketplace. The best example of this is, obviously, something you've all become familiar with this semester, the plumbus. How did the plumbus become such an ubiquitous multidimensional household item? What are its secrets? Can we attempt to capture that kind of lightning in a bottle for ourselves?

"The first step, I feel, in developing successful strategy is knowing what the consumers want, and figuring out how to fill in that gap in their current economic landscape. For example, I noticed a trend that something like jello was very new but popular with people from a certain galaxy, and so I was able to fulfil that unexplored niche to create a mildly successful jello shop in space until I had to blow it up for unrelated reasons. If things hadn't gone the way they had, there could have been some real potential to tap into that market. I saw a gap, filled it in, and boom! Success! But sometimes the gaps aren't as easy to spot, and that's where something like market research comes in.

"You know those super annoying surveys that pop up on YouTube when all you're trying to do is a watch some tutorial or pop culture drama? It's kind of like that. Today, we're going to work together to come up with some questions we can put together for a marketing survey to get a finger on the pulse of what kind of economic venture we coudl pursue for success on a multidimensional level. Once we've had some good questions gathered up, I'll shoot it out to the multiverse, see what comes back, and next week, we can discuss where there might be a chance bring our own plumbus or space jello franchise to the table. Make sense? We can also take some time to survey each other, too, because maybe a great idea is lurking there in the mind of one of your classmates already, we just need the right kind of market data to really bring it to light."

And with this class? Honestly? Summer just wanted to see what sort of questions they would come up with. This class was about 5% her actually trying to teach business stuff to them, and 95% her own sick fascination and amusement at this point.

Danger Shop Classroom time?

Danger Shop Classroom time! Which meant that this week's class wasn't going to be too wild or anything like that, which was fine, because Summer figured everyone would have been distracted by homecoming anyway, and even though they had a week to get back into the swing of things after the school trip, she was pretty sure no one would mind a light class.

"So," she started, "advertising. Let's talk about that today, because it's one of the most effective and sometimes insidious tools a businessperson has in their arenal to push their products on the unsuspecting masses. Why else do you think somehing like, say, a plumbus, is so multidimensionally ubiquitous, particular dimensions such as this one notwithstanding? I'll bet if you asked around, no one could actually tell you what a plumbus really does. All they'll tell you is that it does everything you need it to do and that everyone should have one, but I've never heard anyone talk about it beyond that. How did it get to be so popular then? Advertising.

"For those of you who come from dimensions and worlds with a strong media presence, I'll bet there's at least a handful of jingles or commercials that are so ingrained in your brain that that you'll never forget it or it's actually work itself into your psyche so deeply that you don't even realize how much its influenced who you are, how you talk or associate with something, personal preferences, et cetera, etc cetera, blah blah blah. Because effective marketing could do that.

"Let's take a look at this," and here Summer moved to the front of the class to pull down a screen over the blackboard which held a simple poster declaring 'Hungry for Apples?'. "A very clear rip-off of 'Got Milk?' that my actual father, who very obviously used to work in advertising, until he pitched this, came up with and immediately got fired.

"So your assignment today? Try to see if you can come up with a better way to advertise apples on a multidimensional scale that's better than..." She sighed, giving a distasteful look back at the poster, and a gesture, "this.

"Real low bar for everyone today. Also, if you actually remembered that there was a psuedo-assignment last week and you bought a weird souvenier from Europe to show off, we'll hit that up first to get everyone's brains going, and then we'll get into marketing apples better than my deadbeat dad. Anyone ready to get us started?"

When Nanao Ise had come into Summer Smith's office last weekend and called her the 'new Jane Porter,' she had no idea that she was being so...prophetic. Because somewhere between doing radio and getting to the school, the gremlins weren't quite done with Summer, which resulted in her bustling into the classroom in an eager flurry and with a very British accent.

"Welcome back, class!" she said. "I would just like to say that you all did a marvelous job last week with our exploration of primate communication; truly, I have never seen such excellent grunting! You did very well, you would make wonderful Papio anubis, even if it's not exactly the way of us Homo sapiens!" Here, she couldn't help laughing at her little joke there. "Today will be less grunting...or at least I should hope!...as we talk first and foremost about the classification and taxonomy of Primates."

Best to get comfortable now, children. There was a long ride ahead of you.

( Monkeys and Babboons and Lemurs, Oh My! )

"So who would like to go first?"

Assuming any of them were still awake.

So Summer was already having a bit of a morning and was feeling like her weapons run weekend with her current space bestie could not come soon enough, but she still had a class to deal with, which sort of made the fact that a petty and vindictive squirrel tried to usurp her radio spot with one of her own students. Troy seemed like a good kid, though, so nothing against him, she just felt a little bad that he somehow managed to get wrapped up in it.

Either way, it left her feeling like maybe she should do a little more planning in advance for her classes for days like today, but she figured this one wouldn't be a bad one, and it was still probably better than just sticking them with a movie, right?

"So," Summer started, as they gathered in the danger shop, which was set up to look like a appliance store, with things marked down to ridiculous prices, according to the signs, some of them even free, "today we're going to start with one of the lessons I have planned for you guys that have to deal with business ethics. Because one thing you definitely learn when dealing with economics on a multidimensional level is that everyone has them, but literally none of them are the same, and something that's totally kosher and cool in one quadrant of the multiverse could actually turn out to be the most offensive thing you can imagine in a business transaction in another one. This just means that research is usually pretty important when you're about to embark on a new business venue, but sometimes, you just don't have the time, and you have to go in blind and hope you don't mess it up, and that's where having your own set of business ethics can come in handy, because that's at least, you know, a start.

"Today, then, we're going to see where you stand on a particular situation, see if your classmates agree, and, if not, we can talk it out and discuss with each other on why we feel the way we do about whether or not its right or wrong. And please, keep it civil. It's only first period, and already, I have dealt with way too many altercations and fights, so let's keep it that way.

"Onto our scenario! From here, I think I'll let our 'guest' take over. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Mr. Ants-in-my-Eyes Johnson."

And that was when a relatively normal, though somewhat sweaty middle-aged man who did, indeed, have ants in his eyes stepped forward to give his schpiel [[CW for R&M clip, which means weirdness, gross humor, and, in this one, someone catching on fire]]. "I'm Ants-in-my-Eyes Johnson, here at Ants-in-my-Eyes Johnson Electronics! I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes, and there's so many TVs! Microwaves! Radios! I think? I'm not...I'm not a hundred percent sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything! Our prices...I hope!...aren't too low! Check out this refrigerator!"

He gestured toward a washing machine. "Only two hundred dollars!

"What about this microwave?" This, at least, was a microwave, though it had a sign that clearly stated 'Free!' on it. "Only a hundred dollars! That's fair!

"I'm Ants-in-my-Eye-Johnson, everything's black! I can't see a thing, also, I can't feel a thing!"

This was when his wild gestures managed to bring his arm close to a gas stove that someone had turned on, catching little flames on his sleeve, because there were definitely people walking around and doing things like that and also just taking things. "I can't feel a thing, either," very clearly, as the flame was slowly creeping up his arm, "but that's not as catchy, as having ants in your eyes, so that always goes, you know, off by the wayside. I can't feel! It's a very rare disease. All my nerves, they...they don't allow for the...for the sensation of touch! I never know what's going on! Am I standing, sitting? I don't know!"

Summer, where did you get that bag of marshmallows and a few sticks, anyway?

"Alright, guys," she said, tossing those things on a table, "so here we go. We've got a shopkeeper blinded by ants in his eyes who is also on fire and oblivious not only to that, but everything else going on. What are we doing?"

Hopefully, all the proper venues of communication had gone out to let the students know that they'd actually be meeting in Turtle & Canary for their first lesson, but there was a note on the door of the designated classroom for this class just in case, and then she waited until it looked about time to start before getting into it.

"Hey, guys," she offered with a smile. "Most of you already know me, but I saw a few unfamiliar names on the list, so hi, I'm Summer, and you're all assumingly here for Multidimensional Economics, where we'll explore some of the more interesting aspects of doing business in a multidimensional setting, things like supply and demand, trade resources, expanding your market, knowing how to deal with a wide variety of economic systems and products, blah blah blah, so on and so forth, while also totally getting to shop in some really interesting places.

"And Turtle & Canary here is a really good place to start with all of that, because serving an island on a multidimensional nexus can lead to a lot of interesting economic situations, conundrums, and products. I owned this store a little while ago, not long after I graduated from Fandom, actually, then sold it to its current owner, and now I'm back as manager...long story, but we'll get into it when we discuss exploring untapped markets in the multiverse...not to mention working at two different versions of a Needful Things store in two different dimensions, one significantly stronger on the whole 'selling cursed items...but not for money' thing than the other, so, needless to say, I've got some experiencing juggling some interesting stock for some interesting customer bases. It's definitely a trip, and you're, like, constantly learning some really cool stuff...and also a lot of stuff you probably wish you could just as easily forget.

"But for today," she said, finally seeming to wind down into some sort of conclusion, "I'd like you guys to start getting your feet wet in this wide world of multidimensional economics by getting a little familiar with some of the weird ass shit that's available even in your own friendly neighborhood general store. Take some time, help yourself to a Squishy if you'd like, and look around a little. I want you guys to find something that you've never seen before or seems really weird and strange, and then bring it back up to the counter. When everyone has found an unfamiliar product, then, I want you to take a moment, tell us who you are, and then do your best to try to sell us on that product, even if you have no idea what it is. Because, honestly? When it comes to business and selling, most of it is pretty much based on how well you can bullshit your intended audience into believing that they need to buy the thing that you're selling, even if you don't believe it yourself.

"Is that ethical? Probably not, we'll get into that in a later class about ethical business practices. But for now? Go forth, find some weird shit, and then come back here and try to sell me on it. Oh! And if you don't know already, try to just avoid the cheese section, if you can. Cool. Any questions before we begin?"