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fandomhigh2012-06-11 12:58 am
yakkoyaks.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-06-11 12:58 am
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Steven Spielberg Presents: History!, Monday, Period 4
"Hello, class," Yakko said, with an almost alarming sense of calm and control. "Today, I'll be talking about a figure who goes down as one of the greatest human monsters history has ever known. A person whose name is synonymous with evil and - more importantly for this class period - a specific kind of facial hair."
"It used to be called the Toothbrush Mustache," Yakko said, holding a toothbrush above his lip as a demonstration. "It first became popular in late 19th Century America. But it first became iconic when silent film megastar Charlie Chaplin tramped it up throughout cinemas while wearing one."
"Then Hitler came along and ruined the toothbrush for everyone by being really really evil. If you don't know how, please refer to any Steven Spielberg movie from the late 90's, because I'm not touching that with a ten foot stick. I know what happened to those Bugs Bunny cartoons. I may be zany, but I'm not risking getting locked up in that cartoon vault."
"But the only person who could get away with that look once Hitler ruined it? Chaplan, who spoofed Hitler in movies, and used the mustache to help do it! Now that's comedy." Yakko suddenly wrote a check for $20 to Slappy the Squirrel, which he would mail later.
"But then nobody wore it again, not even one-time Fandom High Journalism teacher, J. Jonah Jameson, probably because the Hitler 'stache was too 'edgy.' But that all changed when former greatest basketball player in the world and current worst basketball owner in the world Michael Jordan decided to wear one in commercials. On the other hand, he has more money, fame, and success than any of us could imagine combined, and I don't know about you, but I've got a pretty active imagination. So if he wants to wear a Hitler 'stache, dress like a cartoon character, and run a basketball team into the ground, he can probably survive it."
"So, what have we learned from this?" Yakko asked as a string lowered from the ceiing next to him. "That's right. THAT I HAVE FAKE FACIAL HAIR FOR EVERYONE!" Yakko yanked down on the string and fake mustaches, beards, and sideburns fell onto the class. By the time the class would have recovered from surprise, Yakko was already wearing a fake beard that could only be called 'The Volstagg.'
[OOC: I forgot about class until I was almost asleep and won't have time to post in the morning. So... apparently this is what happens.]
"It used to be called the Toothbrush Mustache," Yakko said, holding a toothbrush above his lip as a demonstration. "It first became popular in late 19th Century America. But it first became iconic when silent film megastar Charlie Chaplin tramped it up throughout cinemas while wearing one."
"Then Hitler came along and ruined the toothbrush for everyone by being really really evil. If you don't know how, please refer to any Steven Spielberg movie from the late 90's, because I'm not touching that with a ten foot stick. I know what happened to those Bugs Bunny cartoons. I may be zany, but I'm not risking getting locked up in that cartoon vault."
"But the only person who could get away with that look once Hitler ruined it? Chaplan, who spoofed Hitler in movies, and used the mustache to help do it! Now that's comedy." Yakko suddenly wrote a check for $20 to Slappy the Squirrel, which he would mail later.
"But then nobody wore it again, not even one-time Fandom High Journalism teacher, J. Jonah Jameson, probably because the Hitler 'stache was too 'edgy.' But that all changed when former greatest basketball player in the world and current worst basketball owner in the world Michael Jordan decided to wear one in commercials. On the other hand, he has more money, fame, and success than any of us could imagine combined, and I don't know about you, but I've got a pretty active imagination. So if he wants to wear a Hitler 'stache, dress like a cartoon character, and run a basketball team into the ground, he can probably survive it."
"So, what have we learned from this?" Yakko asked as a string lowered from the ceiing next to him. "That's right. THAT I HAVE FAKE FACIAL HAIR FOR EVERYONE!" Yakko yanked down on the string and fake mustaches, beards, and sideburns fell onto the class. By the time the class would have recovered from surprise, Yakko was already wearing a fake beard that could only be called 'The Volstagg.'
[OOC: I forgot about class until I was almost asleep and won't have time to post in the morning. So... apparently this is what happens.]