"I had an adorable forensics expert on the phone this morning who scowled at me," Lucifer said, with a put-upon sigh. "Apparently I'm supposed to at least teach you lot how to 'Mirandize' people, which is to say, telling anyone you arrest what their rights are."

A long pause.

"No, I don't need a lecture on why it's important, out of fairness and basic respect for human dignity, I've heard it, I'm aware of it. It's just that memorizing some lines is dreadfully boring, which is why..."

He wandered off.

Came back three minutes later, toting an old television on wheels, and left it standing in front of the class. He hit a button. And, why, if it wasn't the bippy forensics expert he'd been talking about.

"Okay," Ella said, leaning forward conspiratorally in what was obviously a recording. "I know some of you are going to think this is boring, but it's super important, okay? You can't arrest anybody without reading them their rights. And frankly, that's a good thing, because you can't trust the Man, you know--"

"Ella, what are you doing?" a female voice called from off-screen. Did Lucifer wince? Nah. Trick of the light.

"...Now the specific language is different from state to state, but this is the basics. Write it down. Practice it in the mirror. Whatever you need to do, you just do."

She sat up, and cleared her throat.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time."

She paused, looking solemn.

And then burst out into a grin. "Ohmygod Lucifer I've always wanted to do that--"

The recording stopped abruptly.

"There you go," Lucifer said dryly. "Did you get that? If not, you can use the internet on those fancy phones of yours to find it, I'm sure."