Fandom High School

Alas, there was comedic relief of the never-not-funny visual gag of Sidon's looming self squeezed into a regular classroom today, my friends! For the class would be meeting that day in the Danger Shop, in what appeared to be a rather lovely area of Hyrule, with grassy fields, specled with rocks, scattered with trees, and mighty cliffs in the distance. It was all very picturesque, and one thing of note, wrapped around a taller tree, was a wooden structure of tiers and platforms, roughly but solidly built. And Sidon himself was not alone that day, with Prompto standing beside him, looking even more sheepishly dwarved by the massive Zora but also looking frankly quite proud to be there.

"Welcome to Hyrule!" Sidon greeted the students with an enthusiastic bellow and an opening of his arms in greeting, and then he had to laugh. "Or at least our best estimation of a very small part of it! The danger shop is truly a wonderful thing, is it not? And it's perfect for our lesson today, because, as we discussed last week, Hyrule, for all its beauty and wonder, is a land ripe with danger at every turn! And creatures such as the ones we will be discussing...and fighting!...today were always common, but because of the Calamity, they are not only greater in numbers around Hyrule, but they are also fiercer in battle and only grow stronger by the day with Calamity Ganon's influence. If one sticks to the main roads, one is unlikely to encounter such beasts, however, that is not a guarantee! Even the road to my beloved Zora's Domain finds itself with more and more lizalfos making camp and staking claim and making it difficult for the average Hylian to come and visit! So any traveler of Hyrule must be prepared to encounter such foes, and so today, we will discuss them and practice our combat with them.

"And now, with a little help from my very dear friend Prompto here, we have created simulations of these enemies. Prompto, if you would be so kind?"

Prompto nodded up (and up and up) at Sidon and looked a little nervous about this moment of dramatic reveal, pressed a button on the remote, and held his breath until several creatures appeared, surrounding them, flying around, and on the platforms.

And Prompto let out a big breath of the wild relief. "I knew it wasn't just me!" he declared. "Look at that! Not a single chocobo! I told them it wasn't anything with my programming!"

Realizing that his moment of vindication might be interrupting Sidon's class, he cleared his throat and said, "Sorry! Sorry. It's just been a....thing. Sidon, go ahead, continue with the lesson. Sorry, guys! I'm just glad you're not stuck fighting a bunch of birds."

"Certainly not birds!" Sidon agreed with a chuckle. "But, instead, we have bokolins," he gestured toward to snarling little ones with the pig snouts, seemingly just itching and ready to fight with their big clubs and simple bows, "moblins," he indicated the rather large (easily looming over Prompto but not as tall as Sidon!), lanky creature, stooped and glaring past his horn, "lizalfos," one of the lightly-armored, spear-wielding lizard-monsters flicked out a long tongue for dramatic effect, "chuchus," since appearantly that big blob of sentient blue jelly did, in fact, have a name!, "and," his hand danced aroundt to indicate the squeaking cyclopean bat-like creatures overhead, "keese!

"Now," said Sidon eagerly, now that they've all been introduce, "bear in mind, should you visit Hyrule, these are merely the most common monsters you will encounter! But as beginners to the land, we need not worry so much, yet, about encountering the overwhelming Guardians, or a stoic and strong Hinox, or even the fiercesome Lynel! We will focus on these ones today, and various methods of how to defeat them. For example, with bokoblins, moblins, and lizalfos," oh my!, "they all have an inherent weakness in their horns, so if you're a sure shot, you're sure to deliver to them quite the blow and set yourself up for success! Furthermore...."

Here, he continued on to point out some other strategies involved in fighting the creatures, with various tips like knowing that a keese is about to strike when its eye turns red, or to watch out when in close combat with a chuchu because they tend to explode, that bokoblins can be easily distracted by offerings of meat, do watch a lizalfo's tail as much as his tongue for both are sharp and will whip just as effectively as any weapon, and that moblins have a tendency to actually use bokolins as weapons when in a pinch.

"So today, we practice! I am not sure how much combat experience you both have but you will be wanting to pick up at least some as a traveler of Hyrule! We have a wide variety of weapons available to you, so please take your pick of whatever feels the most comfortable to you, and your goal is to fight your way to the stop of this bokoblin fort! Good luck! If you'd like to spend some time getting use to your weapons or fighting these monsters before the climb, please do so! They're ready to go and there's more where that came from, right, Prompto?"

Prompto let out a nervous laugh. "I hope so! But maybe we shouldn't push it."

Not unless they wanted to fight a ton of unexpected chocobos!

Which would still be better than if Sidon had decided to unleash upon them the dreaded cucco!