Fandom High School

It took an awful lot out of Rosa to get her butt over to the school that morning, as evidenced by the fact that she didn't come strolling into the classroom until a few minutes after it was supposed to start, having clearly made a pit-stop at the Perk after considering not showing up at all. There's your first lesson, kids, don't waste your time on stupid stuff. But she had to do it. Not only because she was being weirdly blackmailed to do it with her job, but she'd also ribbed Captain Tightpants about making it through his first week, so it would be pretty lame if she couldn't do the same.

"Ugh," she said, when she walked in to find that there were, in fact, students there, despite her hopes that maybe they'd all forget or skip or be trapped in a weird shadow realm in the woods again, "you're here."

So she chugged the last of her coffee, tossed the cup into the waste bin by the desk, and sighed. "Okay. Bad Ass Bitch Survival Guide. I'm assuming you're taking this class either because it sounded cool, which it is, or because you're being forced to, in which case, hey, you could do a lot worse. I know the first week is usually about introductions, so your teachers can know who you are and you can get to know your classmates, but honestly? I don't care. I don't care who you are, and I probably wouldn't remember anyway, and if I do remember who you are, it's usually not a good thing. There's a lot to be said, though, about being someone you aren't."

Rosa turned around and wrote in big letters "EMILY GOLDFINCH" on the board.

"That," she explained, "was my favorite secret identity until one of this island's weird weekends screwed it up for me, at least around here. There's a good chunk of people who know me by this name and only this name, and it's been invaluable to survival...not just of my sanity, but also of other people. Emily works at a soup kitchen, she runs a book club, teaches yoga, and is known around her building for her bright and bubbly personality."

Which you could totally picture right now, too, she was sure.

"She's got papers, legal documents, that means I can go anywhere in the world as Emily Goldfinch and do practically anything without it coming back later and even touching Rosa Diaz. So today, you've got...." She glanced at her watch. "Five minutes. Gimme a good secret identity, and if she's believable enough, you can go. Any questions? It's not that hard. You're wasting time. Let's go."

Rosa pulled out the chair of the desk, sat down, and kicked up her feet, arms folding, occasionally checking her watch for what was possibly the slowest five minutes of her entire life.