Fandom High School

"I don't know if you watched the Bachelorette this week, but it actually touches on our topic this week. Failure," Fred said. He grabbed a chair, turned it so the back was to the class, and sat down AC Slater style. It was time to 'rap.'

"Chad, that beautiful butterfly, got let go just because he's an anti-social jackass who refused to play the game and threatened people on the regular. The last straw seemed to be the fact that he straight up told MVP Super Bowl Winning Quarterback Aaron Rodgers' Brother that after the show he would hunt him down at home, probably to kick his ass or murder him or whatever. And since that's apparently not attractive, JoJo let him go."

"Side note, this is why you LIE," Fred said, pointing for emphasis. "If you're going to hunt somebody down at their home, don't tell them! You're on TV, Chad, we're all witnesses to your threat. Now if Aaron Rodgers' Brother gets murdered or whatever, everyone knows you're the prime suspect. And don't tell the woman you're hoping to win like a trophy that you're a violent goon unless it's clear she thinks that's hot. Or you've reached that next step in your relationship where she likes you too much to leave you just because of some violent crimes against other people."

"Anyway, Chad failed. And that's the thing about supervillains. It's a profession built mainly on failure. And crime, of course," Fred acknowledged. "I've committed hundreds of bank robberies. You don't get an Assassin's Guild Black Card by not killing people. And when people need a high priced goon, I'm one of the first calls they make. I've won a lot more times than I've lost and I've been able to get out of prison - USUALLY WITHOUT BREAKING OUT - time and time again. But you know what people remember? Some superhero punching me in the face and throwing me back in prison. A superhero gets his ass kicked ten times and picks himself up to win the eleventh fight and he gets a parade. A villain goes on a crime spree and gets tripped up once and all of a sudden it's, 'Hey, Boomerang's back in jail.' It can get rough. You need to find some way to cope with failure and other people trying to define you by it."

"Which is why I printed this article from LifeHacker called How to Move Past Failure. And just so you know, the printer ran out of toner while I was printing. But then I Started the Next Project to Occupy My Mind and somebody in the computer lab changed the toner while I was messing with my fantasy baseball team. And that's how this print out became a success."

"Anyway, talk to each other about your failures after you're done reading the thing from the internet."