Fandom High School

Everyone was alive--hopefully--and on their way back to normal after an eventful time last week. Which meant class was going to be normal. Perfectly normal.

Yes.

You could tell just how normal by the army green helmet Pinkie Pie was wearing. (And was that a riding crop? This just raises uncomfortable questions!) "Welcome back, students!" she barked, face grim. "We have faced great tests of endurance! Of character!" Some more successfully than others, Miss I-Got-Eaten-By-a-Grue-On-Day-One. "And we have emerged triumphant! But that doesn't mean we can afford to get soft!"

See, kids? Perfectly normal. It was a subjective level of normalcy.

Derek sighed, nudging aside the helmet that had most likely been intended for him. "You're hugging people today," he said, cutting to the point. The very, very strange point. "For the good of friendship."

No, he didn't particularly sound like he believed it.

"What do you do when your friend is upset?" Pinkie asked. "HUG 'EM! What do you do when you haven't seen them in awhile? HUG 'EM! And what do you do when your friend just woke up from being horribly murdered in a subterranean dungeon of horrors?!"

WELL, CLASS?

"Please no." Derek, that won't stop her. It won't stop her at all.

Ponies squeaked when Pinkie hugged them this hard. What did werewolves do? They made high-pitched noises of displeasure. Which was totally different from a squeak in every way.

"See?" Pinkie asked brightly, then her face went serious again. "NOW GET TO IT, MAGGOTS! HUG LIKE YOU'VE NEVER HUGGED BEFORE! I WANNA SEE TWENTY REPS BEFORE ANYONE LEAVES THIS ROOM!"

That helmet might have gone to her head. Just a smidge.