not_a_whiner: (kaidan: leaning against the window)
Kaidan Alenko ([personal profile] not_a_whiner) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2013-12-06 12:13 pm
Entry tags:

Space!, Friday

Was Kaidan looking more uncomfortable than usual today? Yes, yes he was.

"Hey," he told the class. "I've been informed that I should probably cover--" He coughed. "...Interspecies relations with you. In case that, uh. Comes up."

Shuffle.

"There are risks involved with, uh, associating intimately with someone of another sentient species," he said. "For example, if you're a levo-amino lifeform and you have relations with a dextro-amino person, both of you are at risk of having allergic reactions to your, uh." Damn it. "...Fluids."

Nghghghgh. He was just... Going to try and get through this.

"Some species secrete substances that might serve as hallucinogenics," he continued on doggedly. "They might have oddly shaped genitals or specific mating rituals that need to be observed. But... most of the time, at least... you can bet there won't be a risk of pregnancy." A pause. "Unless you're sleeping with an asari. They can, ah. Get along. With anybody. Though the offspring is always asari."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Basically, make sure to be informed about the details of the reproductive habits of your heterospecies relationship," he said, rubbing harder at the back of his neck. "And no, pornography is not a good substitute. Talk to a doctor. Or a professor. A professional." Probably not a Systems Alliance marine.

He fell silent for a long moment.

"Okay," he said. "I'm going to make you all play an informative game about interspecies relationships. Team up, two to a screen, let's go."

And stop talking about this. Right now.
walkswithcoyote: (Coyote standing)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] walkswithcoyote 2013-12-06 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Mercy Thompson
voiceoverdue: (Default)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] voiceoverdue 2013-12-08 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
Cecil Palmer

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[identity profile] beautifulsenshi.livejournal.com 2013-12-06 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Minako didn't know if she was human or Venusian or if there was a difference or was it just when she was Sailor Venus and OH GOD DISCONTINUING THIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT RIGHT NOW.

She was just going to turn bright red and sink down in her seat and pray she didn't need to talk today. Or look at Things. Just. She was just going to think about NICE things like ice cream and balloons and volleyball. Not...sexy things.
walkswithcoyote: (Default)

Re: Team Up and Play The Game!

[personal profile] walkswithcoyote 2013-12-06 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Mercy was just trying not to be terribly embarrassed.

Re: Team Up and Play The Game!

[identity profile] sciencesalarian.livejournal.com 2013-12-06 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Mordin was looking for a partner. He had no shame regarding sexual activity or any reason to understand why someone would. It's just fertilizing eggs, when for reproductive purposes! And for some species, is a fun recreational activity. Like jogging, or conducting minor extracurricular experiments on microbial cultures.
voiceoverdue: (Default)

Re: Team Up and Play The Game!

[personal profile] voiceoverdue 2013-12-08 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
Cecil gave Mordin a little wave as he sat down. He checked out the game and then shrugged. "They all look pretty much the same to me; I've never really been into birds. Do you have a preference?"
walkswithcoyote: (Default)

Re: Talk to the TA

[personal profile] walkswithcoyote 2013-12-06 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Mercy was here and Not Thinking about certain things.

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[identity profile] makemyownway.livejournal.com 2013-12-06 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Cade sauntered over. "So have you done the interspecies thing? My first was Twi'lek. Very bendy."

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[identity profile] makemyownway.livejournal.com 2013-12-06 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
"Figured you were one of the few who would not immediately go 'ewwwww'."

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[identity profile] makemyownway.livejournal.com 2013-12-07 11:47 am (UTC)(link)
Cade shook his head. "I threw my back out, though."

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[identity profile] makemyownway.livejournal.com 2013-12-07 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
"Thought we were bonding," Cade said dryly.

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[identity profile] sciencesalarian.livejournal.com 2013-12-06 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
The lucky thing about not having a sex drive is that sex was a dispassionate, purely reproductive affair and nothing to be embarrassed about. The unlucky thing was that Mordin had no concept of other's discomfort. Which is why he interrupted his teacher's intense focus.

"Curious, any manuals on safe interspecies sex practices with humans published? Omni-tool on a network from very nearly just after First Contact with humans, and could only find crude porn. Did not open, of course. Would like to upload some more anatomically correct data if possible."

(I'm wrapping up a final paper so I miiiiight be slow until I finish but this is too good a class not to bother poor Kaidan about.)

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[identity profile] sciencesalarian.livejournal.com 2013-12-06 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)
"Medical texts good start," Mordin pressed on, not to be deterred by things like an uncomfortable conversation partner. "Would be best expanded on with information on erogenous zones, positions to accomodate multiple anatomies...." He breathed in sharply. "Proper biohazardous byproduct disposal."

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[identity profile] sciencesalarian.livejournal.com 2013-12-07 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
"Ah, can continue to search for generalizable scholarship on subject rather than pornographic anecdata." Maybe he'd learn a little about how to read obvious human body language while he was at it. "Will share findings, if conclusive."
voiceoverdue: (Default)

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[personal profile] voiceoverdue 2013-12-08 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
Cecil frowned, confused. "What's the different amino things? I don't know which I am. Or my boyfriend."

Not that they'd had any allergic reactions yet, but you could never be too careful.
voiceoverdue: (Default)

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[personal profile] voiceoverdue 2013-12-08 05:05 pm (UTC)(link)
"Not that I know of," Cecil answered, a little relieved. "I mean, you met ♥Carlos♥; he seems pretty human, right? Unless he's an alien and just doesn't know it."

He frowned. "Or unless I am. But you'd think that'd be the sort of thing your mom would tell you, really."
dollpocalypse: (ily: self-kiss)

Re: OOC

[personal profile] dollpocalypse 2013-12-06 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
YOU LOVE ME.

Re: OOC

[identity profile] sciencesalarian.livejournal.com 2013-12-06 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
10:30 a.m. my time and tears of laughter are already rolling down my face. You did something right.