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fandomhigh2010-06-18 12:25 pm
saltandammo.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-06-18 12:25 pm
Entry tags:
Dating, Hooking Up and Sex, Class 6, Friday period 3
Dean had taken one look at the yak who was bitch facing at him from the back of the class and fell down laughing. He knew exactly who it was -- he'd recognize those emo bangs anywhere and no one could bitch face like his little brother, no matter what form he was wearing.
Once he got himself back under control, Dean began today's lecture. "So today we're looking at complications that can come up in the pursuit of dating and/or sex. Specifically the kinds of weird complications that happen in Fandom that don't happen anywhere else."
Dean grinned and pointed to the yak at the back of the room. "Sammy here is being a really good example of one of those complications. For some reason, people seem to randomly turn into animals around here. Which, in Sammy's case here, unless his boyfriend is into yak fucking, is seriously going to put a crimp into any romantic plans he had this weekend.
"There's also mental transformations to look out for -- you lose your memory or think you're someone else, and suddenly you're declaring your love for someone's two year old sister who has inexplicably become a teenager for the weekend.
"Things like gremlin bites or weird cookies can lead to mortifyingly embarrassing behaviour like breaking into song randomly and putting more product in your hair than should be humanly possible. Or to sleeping with someone you only think you know. Which can lead to complications like your girlfriend hitting you in the head with a frying pan. So avoid weird cookies. I'm just saying.
"And sometimes it's your normal sexlife that ends up feeling scarifying if the transformation that you are going through is extreme enough. I mean, when you suddenly find yourself a 12 inch plastic doll version of yourself, a normal vibrator can seem less like a sex toy and more like some kind of weird bucking bronco ride.
"But no matter what it is, the trick is to just ride it out and try not to die of embarrassment afterwards. It helps to have a sense of humor about these things. Or be really good at repressing.
"Not all Fandom curveballs are bad though. Next week, we'll be looking at ones that can actually help your sex life.
"And speaking of sextoys, like we were a moment ago, I haven't forgot about your assignment. I want to see and hear what y'all came up with." He pointed randomly at someone. "You go first."
Once he got himself back under control, Dean began today's lecture. "So today we're looking at complications that can come up in the pursuit of dating and/or sex. Specifically the kinds of weird complications that happen in Fandom that don't happen anywhere else."
Dean grinned and pointed to the yak at the back of the room. "Sammy here is being a really good example of one of those complications. For some reason, people seem to randomly turn into animals around here. Which, in Sammy's case here, unless his boyfriend is into yak fucking, is seriously going to put a crimp into any romantic plans he had this weekend.
"There's also mental transformations to look out for -- you lose your memory or think you're someone else, and suddenly you're declaring your love for someone's two year old sister who has inexplicably become a teenager for the weekend.
"Things like gremlin bites or weird cookies can lead to mortifyingly embarrassing behaviour like breaking into song randomly and putting more product in your hair than should be humanly possible. Or to sleeping with someone you only think you know. Which can lead to complications like your girlfriend hitting you in the head with a frying pan. So avoid weird cookies. I'm just saying.
"And sometimes it's your normal sexlife that ends up feeling scarifying if the transformation that you are going through is extreme enough. I mean, when you suddenly find yourself a 12 inch plastic doll version of yourself, a normal vibrator can seem less like a sex toy and more like some kind of weird bucking bronco ride.
"But no matter what it is, the trick is to just ride it out and try not to die of embarrassment afterwards. It helps to have a sense of humor about these things. Or be really good at repressing.
"Not all Fandom curveballs are bad though. Next week, we'll be looking at ones that can actually help your sex life.
"And speaking of sextoys, like we were a moment ago, I haven't forgot about your assignment. I want to see and hear what y'all came up with." He pointed randomly at someone. "You go first."