One half of the buffet table today was covered in Valentine's Day candy. Heart-shaped lollypops, the gamble chocolate that came in the heart boxes, Hershey's kisses, Red Hots, those fake candy lips, those candy hearts with the words on them and all sorts of other moddable types of candy. The other half of the table was covered in oysters, bananas, almonds, asparagus and other foods that were apparently aphrodisiacs.

Marshall was standing at the front of the class with a box of chocolates in his hands. "Okay guys, in light of the holiday, I've decided we should eat food that has to do with Valentine's Day. Taken or not, the one thing we can all look forward to on Valentine's Day is candy. Lots and lots of candy. So much candy that if you're single you can eat it all night until you throw up. Or, if you're me, eat it all night until your wife tells you to stop otherwise you're going to throw up. I don't really know what Valentine's Day has to do with candy but, then again, I don't know why it has to do with greeting cards either."

"So that's one half of the table. The other half has foods that people consider aphrodisiacs," Marshall said, pointing to the right side of the table. "An aphrodisiac, if you don't know, is something that's supposed to get you in the mood to...you know, bow chicka wow wow."

Dear god, Marshall. Stop scaring the kids.

"I'm not sure if it works or not and I don't really know why they're supposed to make you get in the mood but, whatever, oysters are delicious," he said. Marshall paused. "Please don't use the aphrodisiacs as an excuse to make out in here. PDA is gross."

"Okay, so, that's all I've got," Marshall said. "Dig in!"