Barney was waiting in the classroom when students arrived, dressed immaculately as ever. "I'd like to begin with a description of a great way to pick up chicks (or bros, I guess) for limited time interactions. I call it, The Just Visiting Method." He grinned, and let the name sink in before continuing.

"If you can stomach walking around dressed like someone’s dad, pretending to be a tourist in your own hometown is a great way to score chicks. All you need is a map, a fanny pack, and a brand new identity. I can’t help with the first two, but I can certainly help you create a believable back-story that promises to turn your waning local love life into a fiery, no-strings attached romp. Sorry! No time to stick around - you’ve got a flight to catch."

"All you have to do is fill in this script and you're virtually guaranteed a good weekend lay. Barney clicked his projecter remote and a copy of this cloze-type activity appeared.


Hi, I’m (real first name) __________ (bird of prey) ___________. I’m from (compass direction) _________ (biblical locale) ___________, (Midwestern or rectangular state) ___________. Go fightin’ (woodland creatures) ____________! Yep, it’s a great place to grow up. Walking down Main Street at (time of day) _________, and dropping in at (3-letter male name) _____________’s for some homemade (diabetic dessert) __________, well it makes my eyes water and my tummy grumble just thinking about it, yes siree. From time to time I like to check in on ol’ Mrs. (tree species) _________, bless her heart, and her prize winning (color) __________ (vegetable) __________s. My high school sweetheart (flower type) ____________ and I used to neck up on (dangerous animal) _____________ (body of water) _________ Point. Thought we’d get married but the good Lord had other plans for her in the form of a (American sedan) __________ losing control ‘round (American president) ________’s Curve. After she passed, I took up (piece of furniture) ____________ whittling to ease the pain, but golly, I sure don’t meet many ladies in that line of work, ‘specially not ones as pretty as you. Gosh, you’re prettier than a (barnyard animal) ___________ on a (season) _________ day glistening in the (celestial body) __________ shine.

"Now, with that information in mind, it's time for the practical portion of today's lesson, kiddos. You are going to pretend you've cheated on your SO. You get to choose how, with whom, all that jazz. Then you'll meet with a partner and practice lying about where you were last night. Sounds easy enough, right?"

[ooc: much was plagiarized from Barney's Blog. Expect to see some Crazy/Hotness toward the end of the semester, mmkay?]