"Today, we are talking about synergy," Pam said, clapping her hands excitedly. Pam was stone sober today, and very, very happy. That ought to worry you.

"Synergy is mission critical to success, both in the corporate ecosystem and once you take it offline. It's the only way to leverage our core competencies and create vertical integration throughout our workspace. Let's go ahead and peel the onion, kids. We're going to drill down into ways to make synergizing work for you.

Oh, yeah. Pam was going to drown you all in corporate jargon. It was one of her favorite things ever, next to weed.

( Cheryl tries valiantly to save you all -- okay maybe not that valiantly )

"Think win-win." Cheryl looked out over the class, arms crossed. "Well, guess what, you all apparently thought lose-lose because seriously, we literally told you not to come back this week, and gave you a pass not to. What the actual, flaming fuck is wrong with all of you?"

She threw her hands up with a despairing yell, clearly aggravated. Possibly because someone had tampered with her mood stabilizers, and now they didn't...exactly do what they were supposed to.

( nothing could go wrong here, nope nope )