"So," Don said, leaning against the teacher's desk, "your buddy just cut his arm off with his laser sword. It's actually called a lightsaber. But you're not worried about that right now, because his arm is off. What now? The good news is, lasers cauterize, so your buddy isn't going to bleed to death. The bad news is that lasers cauterize, so reattaching the limb is going to be nigh impossible, but that's a surgeon's problem, not yours. Put it on ice just in case anyway. Then your real danger you need to watch for is going to be shock." Don proceeded to quickly run through the warning signs of shock and what to do about it.

"Speaking of cauterization, it is in most cases not best first aid practice in the modern world. Cauterization is, for those of you unfamiliar, the technique of burning, usually by the application of hot metal, the flesh in order to stop bleeding or remove something like a tumor. It does work, and you may find yourselves in a situation where it's useful, so I just want to make you aware of it.

"Now, let's say your buddy just cut his limb off with not a lightsaber. Let's say he lost a finger to a kitchen knife. It happens. Step one, control bleeding. Get a dish towel or something and apply pressure on the wound. Step two, get the finger on ice. This will give a good surgeon the best chance of reattaching it. If you're talking about a larger limb then this is when you would use a tourniquet, and keep that limb elevated above the head and the heart to slow blood flow. You may even have to pinch off the artery--yes, with your fingers. Yes, I know. But you want to give your friend the best possible chance of keeping his life and his hand, even though it's currently lying over there in an ice chest.

"Does anyone have any questions?"