Chuck was already there when the bell rang. He surveyed the class, taking in their faces, and feeling true joy in the thought that he might never have to see any of them again.
He passed out the scantron sheets. "You have fifty minutes to complete the exam. I know that the class period is a full hour, but my old school had fifty minute periods, so the test has been designed for that amount of time. During the last ten minutes of class, I'll collect books, and you can say goodbye to each other, or whatever you want to do."
One look at the test, and there was no mistaking who had written it. The questions were direct, but the answers could have been any of the odd and random choices presented. Only someone who had spent hours studying Chuck's version of the truth could possibly hope to pass this unfair final.
A hand raised in the front row, "Mr. Noblet sir? Pardon the interruption but, none of the choices on the first question are right."
Chuck shook his head at Matilda. "One is correct. If you're having trouble, skip it and go back."
"None of them are correct!" Matilda narrowed her eyes, "If I came back to it later, the same problem would exist."
Chuck stared her down. He was not going to give in, not when he was a mere hour from never having to see her again. "If you took the time to study, you'd be able to tell the exact date when-" he checked his copy of the test- "Gandhi was devoured by his followers."
"I spend most of my waking LIFE studying! And LISTEN! Not only does Gandhi have absolutely NOTHING to do with US History, he was never eaten by anyone! You're WRONG!" She jabbed at the test accusingly, "This is ridiculous! I refuse to take this test unless you put truth in it!"
For a moment, Chuck looked furious. Then he smirked. "Detention. and so help me, if I have to make you miss your friends' graduation ceremony for your disrespect, I'll do it, Scrabble."
"Detention?! For what!?" Matilda was nearly quaking. This was the last straw.
Chuck grinned. It was good to punish an uppity student. "For asking a stupid question."
"A stupid question," she said this almost softly as she lifted the test to her eye level and pointed at the first question. "THIS is a stupid question! In fact, I'd stake my life that this test is full of stupid questions!" She flipped through pages and read a random one. "Which of the following did George Washington do? A. Killed his sensei in a duel B. Had a pocket full of horses C. Stuck an opponents' wife's hand into a jar of acid at a party D. All of the above. Are you INSANE Mr. Noblet?! George Washington did none of these things! The foul lies you're forcing us to learn for this test are disrespectful to the great men and women who worked so hard for this country!"
Chuck did get furious. "You can't possibly appreciate our founding fathers! You've actively combated me, and fought for your own ignorance over learning! I am a teacher, so you should show respect and listen to me. I am older, wiser, and smarter than you, and none of your sad Kindergarten squabbles can change that."
"Yeah? I bet you think our founding fathers are Cookie Monster, Moses and Bill Clinton! I'm sick of everyone thinking they're better than me just because they're older! I know 10 times as much as you do!"
Chuck grabbed a chalk eraser from the eraser drawer. "Moses worked hard to develop the cotton gin! You don't degrade a man like that!" and with those words, he hurled the eraser at the uppity TA.
Matilda stood up. She was through with this. The eraser stopped in the air and clattered to the floor before it made it halfway to her. "That was a poor throw Mr. Noblet."
"Huh?" Chuck grabbed a couple more erasers, and tossed them. "How about that?!" Not looking up, he grabbed a few more, tossing them at Matilda, too angry to notice that they had all stopped in midair and were now being directed by a violent swish of Matilda's hand to rocket backwards at him instead.
Being as angry and mature as she was, she still wasn't able to resist saying, "Stop hitting yourself."
Chuck covered himself up, one eraser still clutched in his hand. "What are you doing?! What's going on?!"
Matilda said nothing as she dropped her hand to her side. The erasers all fell to the ground but she didn't sit down.
Chuck stood up. He stared at Matilda as though she were a Magic Eye puzzle. After a moment, his confusion seemed to melt away. "You levitated the Scrabble board. And you made up the ghost." His jaw dropped. "You little freak."
That made her eye twitch. Freak huh? Now he was asking for it. No more Ms. Nice Girl. "SO you're "older, wiser and smarter than me" and yet it took you THIS long to figure it out?" While she said this she lifted one hand slightly and paper from all around the room lifted into the air; pencils, pens, books and everything on Chuck's desk begin to rise and swirl around in the air around Chuck. She was twirling one finger and watching her school supply tornado spin around Chuck. Occasionally one of the objects would fly though the middle of the twister. Not hitting him of course, but certainly close enough that it would feel too close for comfort.
Matilda's judgment was perfect. Chuck cowered in fear, and yelled "Stop it! Stop the chaos! Stop it now!"
"Say please." She liked to save the best for last. His desk was now lifting off the ground threateningly.
Chuck took one look at the floating desk, and ran out of the room screaming.
Matilda's smirk was one of clear satisfaction. She took a deep breath as all the objects slowly and peacefully returned to their original locations, a few a bit worse-for-wear. She turned to the class and looked down at her feet a bit embarrassed. "Sorry about that."
With that she sat down and began to take her test without a word.
It seemed that along with his briefcase and lunch, Chuck had left the answer key on his (now again earthbound) desk.
When Chuck left the room, Jim saw the perfect opportunity to complete his outfit. He reached into his backpack, pulled out a pair of glasses, put them on, and strode to the front of the room. Between the suit, the glasses, the hair, and now the look on his face, Jim oddly familiar up there. "You shouldn't have chased him off, Scrabble. That'll be another detention for you."
Matilda looked up at him with a bit of an awkward grin, "Oh no Mr. Noblet. Have mercy on my poor kindergarten soul."
"Mercy is for Communists and zombies, Scrabble," Jim said. "That's why they lost the War of 1712." Jim looked around at the rest of the class. "If all of you took the test together, I bet you still wouldn't get as many questions right as I could blindfolded. That's because you're all young and stupid and haven't paid enough attention to my wisdom. I'll give you one last chance to learn something before you take the test. If you have any questions, be sure to ask them now." He took a moment to look down and saw a very special sheet of paper. "I'll answer anything you have, unless the question is as stupid as you are. And I do have all of the answers right here."
A few seconds after the last question had been asked, Chuck walked back into the classroom, grumbling. He nearly reached his desk before he saw Jim. He looked down at the kid, trying to ascertain why he didn't have an immediate urge to slap a punishment on him.
Jim waited for a moment to see if Chuck was going to do anything to him. Deciding that silence wasn't helping him at all, he took his glasses off in an overly dramatic fashion. "Just keeping them in line until you returned, sir."
Oh, how Chuck wanted to believe that. For some reason, Jim seemed more reasonable and less annoying, today. He gave Jim a look. " It looks like you were sneaking answers, mister."
Jim decided to play the odds and put the glasses back on. "I already know the answers from listening to you all semester. Why would I need to cheat?"
Chuck nodded. It made sense, coming from a studious young man like Jim Halpert. after all, just looking at the eyes behind those glasses- But since when did Jim wear glasses? Chuck snapped out of it. In fact, that whole ensemble was very familiar...
"Jim," Chuck asked, "what are you wearing, and why is your hair like that?"
"You inspire me, sir," Jim said as seriously as he could. "And it's a good thing, too, because what better way to keep your students in line than to look like a man who they all respect?"
Chuck shook his head. "You don't respect me." He grinned, as if he'd made a point that didn't make horrible sport of him.
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, sir," Jim pointed out.
Chuck glared at him harder, leaned in to scrutinize the face of this horrible liar, his hand itched for the detention pad-
Then he stood back up. "Makes enough sense. Back to your seat, and finish your test."
"I'll let you get back to doing what you do best: being our teacher," Jim said, stepping back towards his desk.
Chuck gave a nod of approval as Jim sat back down. "You should all try to follow Jim's excellent example." He clapped his hands together. "Complete the tests and hand them in. Due to the recent...events..." He sat at his desk, trying not to look at Matilda. "You have until the bell to finish."


[ooc: There's a lot of madness today, so you might as well get cracking. ^_^ The OCD will be up by the time you finish reading the lesson. is up. For our last class. *Sobs*]